Friday, March 31
Entry #31 A first
This is my first time attempting a writing challenge and it won't be my last. But it is definitely a hectic one and I have not managed myself well at all. So yup, definitely a first for me. But I do enjoy doing these things really. And now I have 3 minutes before midnight you have no idea how frantic I am typing all of this haaa okay I'm gonna stop now! 2 minutes left! Okay bye I love you guys hope you enjoyed these as much as I did!
Entry #30 One last moment
Rushing to send my assignment and finish all these entries before midnight! Can't you tell?!!
Entry #29 My aspirations
A lot. My parents. My siblings. My friends. Numerous teachers and lecturers. Celebrities. Writers. Famous and non-famous people. I can get inspired quite easily if I find the person credible. Also, are inspirations the same as aspirations? What is aspirations actually? Nevermind I'll find out later.
Entry #27 My favorite place
A favorite place. For what? To live in? To hang out? To just enjoy the view? There's too many places to think of and I can't really think right now (since when did I ever have the time to think...)
I guess my most favorite place to just be is home. And you know what they say, home isn't a place, it's where the people you love are. Ceyy~
Yeah being at home is the best especially when we have a full house. Speaking of house and home did you know that in the dictionary it has the same meaning. The only difference is the connotation to it, house is more like the place you stay as in the literal building while home has a more comfortable homely feel to it so to speak.
Being at home you don't have to dress up for one. I can be as comfortable as I can without a care in the world. My sister also gave me this realization that your bed at home is the best bed ever, no matter what. Sigh I miss Alor Setar bed. Also, you have your own space at home so that's nice too. You can dance your heart out and you won't get disturbed. Just make sure you've locked the door though...
I think a majority of people would say their favorite place is home. Let me think of other places that I like.
I think I would love to try and go to a place where the scenery is like that from a movie. Maybe like a cliff, where you can see the wide expanse of whatever is below it? That would be nice. I've been to the Great Wall of China once and that was pretty legendary. The atmosphere was nice too like the wind was cool but not too cold to the point where I'm freezing.
I think travelling is a pretty interesting activity. Maybe when I get richer I'll travel around. I know people say take the opportunity now but most of the opportunities require me to do other things as well when I just wanna travel for a holiday and fully immerse myself to explore the country. Sounds like wishful thinking right? Well, we never know. And it's not exactly something I really wanna do badly like 'OMG I WANNA TRAVEL' so yeah I'm not so worried.
If I think about it again, anywhere can be like a scene from a movie. Like right now I'm in my college room in front of the window and I can see the trees and hills around my college and also other buildings further away and it feels nice.
Hmm where was this post supposed to go again? Ah, my favorite place. Well, we went there. The chaotic place that it my mind.
I guess my most favorite place to just be is home. And you know what they say, home isn't a place, it's where the people you love are. Ceyy~
Yeah being at home is the best especially when we have a full house. Speaking of house and home did you know that in the dictionary it has the same meaning. The only difference is the connotation to it, house is more like the place you stay as in the literal building while home has a more comfortable homely feel to it so to speak.
Being at home you don't have to dress up for one. I can be as comfortable as I can without a care in the world. My sister also gave me this realization that your bed at home is the best bed ever, no matter what. Sigh I miss Alor Setar bed. Also, you have your own space at home so that's nice too. You can dance your heart out and you won't get disturbed. Just make sure you've locked the door though...
I think a majority of people would say their favorite place is home. Let me think of other places that I like.
I think I would love to try and go to a place where the scenery is like that from a movie. Maybe like a cliff, where you can see the wide expanse of whatever is below it? That would be nice. I've been to the Great Wall of China once and that was pretty legendary. The atmosphere was nice too like the wind was cool but not too cold to the point where I'm freezing.
I think travelling is a pretty interesting activity. Maybe when I get richer I'll travel around. I know people say take the opportunity now but most of the opportunities require me to do other things as well when I just wanna travel for a holiday and fully immerse myself to explore the country. Sounds like wishful thinking right? Well, we never know. And it's not exactly something I really wanna do badly like 'OMG I WANNA TRAVEL' so yeah I'm not so worried.
If I think about it again, anywhere can be like a scene from a movie. Like right now I'm in my college room in front of the window and I can see the trees and hills around my college and also other buildings further away and it feels nice.
Hmm where was this post supposed to go again? Ah, my favorite place. Well, we went there. The chaotic place that it my mind.
Entry #26 My fears
I do have quite a few fears. The normal fear of dangerous and scary things are just normal. There's one thing that I fear that might be a bit different than normal fears. The fear of being judged. I don't mean being judged as in people look at me and be like 'hmm she ain't pretty'. What I mean is when people watch me and expect me to act a certain way.
Maybe it's because I'm the type to change my personality according to who I'm with so that costs a bit of misunderstanding. Like, when I just entered the new college and then there's my roommates and their family and I just get so awkward because I feel like my mom would expect me to start speaking to them.
I do not do crowd socializing well, but I am not bad at giving motivation for the other contestants. (See this is what happens when you force yourself to write when you're too sleepy. What contestants? Giving motivation? Man this is hilarious hahahaha)
I was literally dozing off in front of my laptop. Man, I was super tired last night. Anyway, on to the post.
Yes, so I'm the kind of person where I adapt myself to who I am with. Sometimes I get a bit awkward and anxious when there's too many people so I don't really know how to act around these crowds. But I wouldn't exactly call it a fear. It's more on to something I'm nervous about. Like presenting in front of people. It's just nervous.
Hmm so what do I fear? Well, I just fear what everyone else also fears. Nothing weird. Sorry I'm not in the mood to feel fear kekeke.
I do not do crowd socializing well, but I am not bad at giving motivation for the other contestants. (See this is what happens when you force yourself to write when you're too sleepy. What contestants? Giving motivation? Man this is hilarious hahahaha)
I was literally dozing off in front of my laptop. Man, I was super tired last night. Anyway, on to the post.
Yes, so I'm the kind of person where I adapt myself to who I am with. Sometimes I get a bit awkward and anxious when there's too many people so I don't really know how to act around these crowds. But I wouldn't exactly call it a fear. It's more on to something I'm nervous about. Like presenting in front of people. It's just nervous.
Hmm so what do I fear? Well, I just fear what everyone else also fears. Nothing weird. Sorry I'm not in the mood to feel fear kekeke.
Tuesday, March 28
Entry #25 Bonus! MONSTA X time!
So I realized that the challenge is actually a 30 day challenge so there's 30 entries. But March has 31 days. So I decided why not have one bonus entry on whatever I want to write? And so this baby happened.
What I wanna do is I'm gonna listen to MONSTA X's new album and while listening I will write down whatever I think of the song currently playing. It will probably be pretty jumbled up and cut mid-sentence because I won't be able to write everything that comes to my mind at the time. I won't edit whatever I wrote so that it really shows what I really wrote at the time.
Ready... GO!
Okay first song is Ready or Not. I think it's a nice opening track. I remember seeing it performed live and the people in the comment keep saying it brings them back to Trespass era. At first I really didn't feel that way and was confused. But then I saw someone wrote it has No Exit vibes and then yup I see it now. Its a pretty nice song. I absolutely love Kihyun's hair during the performance. That definitely brought me back to Trespass era. The line distribution for the song is pretty fair I think. Except for the live perfs where they only perform half so IM has no lines sadly. I rushed thinking the song was about to end only for the bridge to come in lol. Yeah so now it is about to end. Love Kihyun's adlibs.
Now we have the title track Beautiful! The first time I saw the MV I was shocked to hear the beats and then suddenly Jooheon enters with his angry rapping and I was shook. Because I kept on hearing the teaser and previews so I was not expecting the first part. OM I love Hyungwon and his lines and him being in the center gosh. Yeah sick dance break. I also like how they have All In in the lyrics not just in this song but another song too. I love Wonho's lines too. And Kihyun's. OMG Minhyuk's so beautiful is the best. Okay I like all the parts. Okay and now the jacket is about to come off. KYAA I screamed loudly when I saw this the first time. Like, I had to pause the video. It was amazing. Okay I love your last part Hyungwon.
Areumdawo. I like how the next song starts with that line. This is Incomparable and in the preview I was so-so with it. Then I heard the full song and it is amazing. Okay now the buildup is coming. I think it's a bit out of place but it's not too bad. I love the chorus. And the fact that Minhyuk is singing it. Amazing. Also there's a lot of adlib-ish things during the chorus which really sounds interesting. I really like this song. Jooheon' scream at the back sounds funny if you pay attention to it haha. But I wonder why they're singing break up though. OMG Hyungwon's got lines! Just kidding, OMG Jooheon's semi rap semi singing part sounds beautiful. And of course the climax too. Man this song is really good.
What's next? Ahh I Need You. This song is a bit on the bubbly(?) song? Ooh I like Kihyun's I Need You at the beginning where he ends it a bit in a staccato style? Wow there goes all my music knowledge. Yay Hyungwon again. The chorus is pretty catchy. I like the uh-huh at the back too. OMG Jooheon's beautiful girl sounds so amazing in a slightly eccentric way. Haa there's another All In lyrics~ Nan niga piryohae~ This is quite a bop. The line distribution not only for this song but the album overall I think is pretty fair. Maybe Hyungwon has one song where he does not have lines. But others is okay
OMG OI IS MY JAM!! It was amazing like the first listen through the album and the songs I immediately downloaded was Beautifu obviously and OI! I dunno, the song is so lit. No not lit but you get super turnt up! Wow I love Jooheon's rap. Amen is also included in this song. The chorus sounds so strong and I saw the lyrics and it was like pretty gangster-like and it's just amazing. Ooh my fav part is Wonho's part in saying go away~ Jooheon sang something that sounded like 'feels so gay'. Chorus is sick. Oioioioi part too. And Wonho's part afterwards is also amazing. OMG the climax I love Kihyun's scream. Get turnt up man OI!
What's this? Aahh Miss You. Ooo I just realized Minhyuk starts the song. Mmm there's so many improvements I feel so proud. This song is composed by Jooheon if I remember correctly. No wonder the chorus goes 'where u at~'. Kihyun's lisp in miss you is so cute. I don't have a lot to write suddenly haha. The song I'm so-so with it. It's good but I just don't get too hooked with it. Ooh Jooheon's rap breakdown is great. Where u at~ jigeum. Why do they all sing Mish youh? Well it's okay, still cute.
Next is.... CALM DOWN! I love the theme where Calm Down is the song that turns you up like how Be Quiet was the song that gets you screaming too. Wow IM's rap sounds nice. OMG love Wonho's part after the rap. Chorus for me at first sounds like Boy's Republic Get Down. I also just realized how long Jooheon rap is in this song. Seriously it's pretty long. And then my fav part. Minhyuk can sing pretty well. The song is pretty great. But yeah the chorus kinda sounds disjointed. The stop calm down part is pretty nice haha. Ooh I dunno if this next part is just Jooheon or he sang it with Hyungwon. That would be pretty nice. This is the song where Hyungwon doesn't get any line btw. STOP CALM DOWN LET'S STOP CALM DOWN.
And now we have, ooh All I Do. Snazzy intro. This song is nice too. Nunbit~ Hmm somehow I like Wonho's parts a lot. Nan noman saenggake~ oh this is all I dooo~oo~oo~ Yay Hyungwon! I like all the songs in the album really. Now that I think about it this song has the vibe of KNK's upbeat song I don't remember the name. Rap breakdown is pretty nice here too haha maybe it's because I'm so used to it. Oh and the rap has a slight part where it sounds like S COUPS rap in Boom Boom. All I doo~oo~~
Oh wow here we go. This is 5:14 Last Page. The song that will make you cry. The lyrics are about their journey and the time 5:14 is their debut date. When you think about it and read the lyrics and listen to the song you can probably cry. Once again my fav part is Wonho's. I said it somewhere in a comment but I'll say it gain everytime Wonho's part comes in this song I tear up a little. And I love the 5:14 usage throughout the song. Aahh this song is so nice. There are a lot of lyrics where it's really touching. IM sounds like he's holding back tears. It's beautiful. This song is beautiful. I love it. Amazing. Amado urin~ hamke haltenikka~ We gotta slow it down~
And last but definitely not least, my most awaited song, I'll Be There or Neon Oddae? They performed it once at an event and it was amazing I kept waiting for it to be released and it was also Wonho's first song to be performed so I really enjoyed it and waited for it. It's a song for Monbebes and the lyrics are pretty sweet especially a line which actually started Wonho cry in the MonSurprise Vapp. Aahh I love this song. Oddae~ nan joeundae~ Also love the rap parts. It's so nice and like relaxed manner? Hmm nice. Neon oddae? No thanks~ No ways~ Love the fact that Shownu sings while Kihyun does the adlib and also Minhyuk singing the chorus. Man I love this song. Perfect song to end the album.
And it ends. Fuhh this is pretty tiring. I just edited typing errors and things that result from other things. The songs where I wrote little means that I didn't know what to write haha.
Overall I think all the songs in the album are great. I just feel like some of the songs have parts which kinda not flow and transition was not so smooth. Well, this is my opinion. I still enjoy all the songs. I dunno what to say about the arrangement of the album because I dunno how to judge that. For me, I love it. Well duh, because I love MONSTA X. No but really, because there are quite a few types of songs in the album so you would be able to find at least one that you like.
I just realized the album is 30+ mins long so that means I wrote non-stop for 30+ mins. Ah I'm tired. I'm gonna go sleep now (even though I have 3 entries piled up huehue)
What I wanna do is I'm gonna listen to MONSTA X's new album and while listening I will write down whatever I think of the song currently playing. It will probably be pretty jumbled up and cut mid-sentence because I won't be able to write everything that comes to my mind at the time. I won't edit whatever I wrote so that it really shows what I really wrote at the time.
Ready... GO!
Okay first song is Ready or Not. I think it's a nice opening track. I remember seeing it performed live and the people in the comment keep saying it brings them back to Trespass era. At first I really didn't feel that way and was confused. But then I saw someone wrote it has No Exit vibes and then yup I see it now. Its a pretty nice song. I absolutely love Kihyun's hair during the performance. That definitely brought me back to Trespass era. The line distribution for the song is pretty fair I think. Except for the live perfs where they only perform half so IM has no lines sadly. I rushed thinking the song was about to end only for the bridge to come in lol. Yeah so now it is about to end. Love Kihyun's adlibs.
Now we have the title track Beautiful! The first time I saw the MV I was shocked to hear the beats and then suddenly Jooheon enters with his angry rapping and I was shook. Because I kept on hearing the teaser and previews so I was not expecting the first part. OM I love Hyungwon and his lines and him being in the center gosh. Yeah sick dance break. I also like how they have All In in the lyrics not just in this song but another song too. I love Wonho's lines too. And Kihyun's. OMG Minhyuk's so beautiful is the best. Okay I like all the parts. Okay and now the jacket is about to come off. KYAA I screamed loudly when I saw this the first time. Like, I had to pause the video. It was amazing. Okay I love your last part Hyungwon.
Areumdawo. I like how the next song starts with that line. This is Incomparable and in the preview I was so-so with it. Then I heard the full song and it is amazing. Okay now the buildup is coming. I think it's a bit out of place but it's not too bad. I love the chorus. And the fact that Minhyuk is singing it. Amazing. Also there's a lot of adlib-ish things during the chorus which really sounds interesting. I really like this song. Jooheon' scream at the back sounds funny if you pay attention to it haha. But I wonder why they're singing break up though. OMG Hyungwon's got lines! Just kidding, OMG Jooheon's semi rap semi singing part sounds beautiful. And of course the climax too. Man this song is really good.
What's next? Ahh I Need You. This song is a bit on the bubbly(?) song? Ooh I like Kihyun's I Need You at the beginning where he ends it a bit in a staccato style? Wow there goes all my music knowledge. Yay Hyungwon again. The chorus is pretty catchy. I like the uh-huh at the back too. OMG Jooheon's beautiful girl sounds so amazing in a slightly eccentric way. Haa there's another All In lyrics~ Nan niga piryohae~ This is quite a bop. The line distribution not only for this song but the album overall I think is pretty fair. Maybe Hyungwon has one song where he does not have lines. But others is okay
OMG OI IS MY JAM!! It was amazing like the first listen through the album and the songs I immediately downloaded was Beautifu obviously and OI! I dunno, the song is so lit. No not lit but you get super turnt up! Wow I love Jooheon's rap. Amen is also included in this song. The chorus sounds so strong and I saw the lyrics and it was like pretty gangster-like and it's just amazing. Ooh my fav part is Wonho's part in saying go away~ Jooheon sang something that sounded like 'feels so gay'. Chorus is sick. Oioioioi part too. And Wonho's part afterwards is also amazing. OMG the climax I love Kihyun's scream. Get turnt up man OI!
What's this? Aahh Miss You. Ooo I just realized Minhyuk starts the song. Mmm there's so many improvements I feel so proud. This song is composed by Jooheon if I remember correctly. No wonder the chorus goes 'where u at~'. Kihyun's lisp in miss you is so cute. I don't have a lot to write suddenly haha. The song I'm so-so with it. It's good but I just don't get too hooked with it. Ooh Jooheon's rap breakdown is great. Where u at~ jigeum. Why do they all sing Mish youh? Well it's okay, still cute.
Next is.... CALM DOWN! I love the theme where Calm Down is the song that turns you up like how Be Quiet was the song that gets you screaming too. Wow IM's rap sounds nice. OMG love Wonho's part after the rap. Chorus for me at first sounds like Boy's Republic Get Down. I also just realized how long Jooheon rap is in this song. Seriously it's pretty long. And then my fav part. Minhyuk can sing pretty well. The song is pretty great. But yeah the chorus kinda sounds disjointed. The stop calm down part is pretty nice haha. Ooh I dunno if this next part is just Jooheon or he sang it with Hyungwon. That would be pretty nice. This is the song where Hyungwon doesn't get any line btw. STOP CALM DOWN LET'S STOP CALM DOWN.
And now we have, ooh All I Do. Snazzy intro. This song is nice too. Nunbit~ Hmm somehow I like Wonho's parts a lot. Nan noman saenggake~ oh this is all I dooo~oo~oo~ Yay Hyungwon! I like all the songs in the album really. Now that I think about it this song has the vibe of KNK's upbeat song I don't remember the name. Rap breakdown is pretty nice here too haha maybe it's because I'm so used to it. Oh and the rap has a slight part where it sounds like S COUPS rap in Boom Boom. All I doo~oo~~
Oh wow here we go. This is 5:14 Last Page. The song that will make you cry. The lyrics are about their journey and the time 5:14 is their debut date. When you think about it and read the lyrics and listen to the song you can probably cry. Once again my fav part is Wonho's. I said it somewhere in a comment but I'll say it gain everytime Wonho's part comes in this song I tear up a little. And I love the 5:14 usage throughout the song. Aahh this song is so nice. There are a lot of lyrics where it's really touching. IM sounds like he's holding back tears. It's beautiful. This song is beautiful. I love it. Amazing. Amado urin~ hamke haltenikka~ We gotta slow it down~
And last but definitely not least, my most awaited song, I'll Be There or Neon Oddae? They performed it once at an event and it was amazing I kept waiting for it to be released and it was also Wonho's first song to be performed so I really enjoyed it and waited for it. It's a song for Monbebes and the lyrics are pretty sweet especially a line which actually started Wonho cry in the MonSurprise Vapp. Aahh I love this song. Oddae~ nan joeundae~ Also love the rap parts. It's so nice and like relaxed manner? Hmm nice. Neon oddae? No thanks~ No ways~ Love the fact that Shownu sings while Kihyun does the adlib and also Minhyuk singing the chorus. Man I love this song. Perfect song to end the album.
And it ends. Fuhh this is pretty tiring. I just edited typing errors and things that result from other things. The songs where I wrote little means that I didn't know what to write haha.
Overall I think all the songs in the album are great. I just feel like some of the songs have parts which kinda not flow and transition was not so smooth. Well, this is my opinion. I still enjoy all the songs. I dunno what to say about the arrangement of the album because I dunno how to judge that. For me, I love it. Well duh, because I love MONSTA X. No but really, because there are quite a few types of songs in the album so you would be able to find at least one that you like.
I just realized the album is 30+ mins long so that means I wrote non-stop for 30+ mins. Ah I'm tired. I'm gonna go sleep now (even though I have 3 entries piled up huehue)
Saturday, March 25
Entry #24 Something that makes me cry
I do cry easily. I am quite a sensitive person and I am good at empathizing with people. Usually when a person cry I would tear up too. I just feel too much and then proceed to cry.
Sometimes I do have those moments where I just feel like I want to cry, not because I am sad, but just because I want to let my tears out. So I proceed to do some things which would help me cry.
One of it would be listening to some Vocaloid songs. Seriously, some of them are so heartbreaking. Just to name some on top of my head, songs like Pierrot, Heart Rate #32, and Wrinkle. Definitely Wrinkle, one does not simply listen to the song, watch the video and read the lyrics without tearing up.
If I really feel like crying there's always Miracle in Cell no.7. That movie is just evil. It just forces your tears to come out.
If I feel like torturing myself I can also watch No.Mercy. Sigh, doing so would only be a torture but it would be a pleasant one. I would think I can get through it okay then episode 7 comes and Wonho starts sobbing and I'm a goner. The dam would just burst.
The ending comments during the first Monsta X concert would also make me cry, seeing I.M, Kihyun and Hyungwon cry is just... touching. The video prepared by Taiwan Monbebes for their Taiwan fanmeeting is also pretty touching. And of course, the one that breaks all the Monbebes heart, the Mon-surprise Vapp. I wanna give Wonho a hug.
Then there's also the matter of fanfictions. I've read some that are really sad and just really broke my heart. Seriously, some of these fanfics are what inspire me to become a writer. I wanna make people feel the feels reading my stories too. I can't remember the fics that made me cry, but if I come across them again my heart would clench and I would avoid it, unless of course I wanna enjoy a good cry. Aah, I really love fanfics.
So these are some things that make me cry. It doesn't necessarily make me cry because I'm sad, some of them I would cry out of happiness and pride.
It's a long shot, but I do hope that this month, I can cry out of happiness, for Monsta X's first win. I really wish for this. Let's cry together guys! With smiles on our faces!
Sometimes I do have those moments where I just feel like I want to cry, not because I am sad, but just because I want to let my tears out. So I proceed to do some things which would help me cry.
One of it would be listening to some Vocaloid songs. Seriously, some of them are so heartbreaking. Just to name some on top of my head, songs like Pierrot, Heart Rate #32, and Wrinkle. Definitely Wrinkle, one does not simply listen to the song, watch the video and read the lyrics without tearing up.
If I really feel like crying there's always Miracle in Cell no.7. That movie is just evil. It just forces your tears to come out.
If I feel like torturing myself I can also watch No.Mercy. Sigh, doing so would only be a torture but it would be a pleasant one. I would think I can get through it okay then episode 7 comes and Wonho starts sobbing and I'm a goner. The dam would just burst.
The ending comments during the first Monsta X concert would also make me cry, seeing I.M, Kihyun and Hyungwon cry is just... touching. The video prepared by Taiwan Monbebes for their Taiwan fanmeeting is also pretty touching. And of course, the one that breaks all the Monbebes heart, the Mon-surprise Vapp. I wanna give Wonho a hug.
Then there's also the matter of fanfictions. I've read some that are really sad and just really broke my heart. Seriously, some of these fanfics are what inspire me to become a writer. I wanna make people feel the feels reading my stories too. I can't remember the fics that made me cry, but if I come across them again my heart would clench and I would avoid it, unless of course I wanna enjoy a good cry. Aah, I really love fanfics.
So these are some things that make me cry. It doesn't necessarily make me cry because I'm sad, some of them I would cry out of happiness and pride.
It's a long shot, but I do hope that this month, I can cry out of happiness, for Monsta X's first win. I really wish for this. Let's cry together guys! With smiles on our faces!
Entry #23 Something that makes me feel better
Just like how I get upset over the smallest things, I also get happy by them. Really, just say Monsta X or better yet Hyungwon and my day is already brightened.
Just kidding. But it would work though. I am usually a happy person too so it's not always that I get upset. Even if I do it won't last long. And so many things can make me feel better.
Kpop being one of the main one. Or just music overall. Music actually makes a lot of things better. I get so defensive when people sort of judge people who like Kpop because you know what? If it makes you happy then go ahead. Then again, I do judge hardcore fangirls of Kpop...
Anyways, another thing that makes me happy is spending quality time with friends and family. Who wouldn't be happy with that right? Ooh and cats. Cats make me feel better too.
Of course, another sure thing to make me feel better is food. I realized this when I started degree. Sometimes in the morning class, without any reason I would feel, sort of unhappy? Or just moody in general. And then we would have a break and would usually eat. I noticed that as soon as I see all the food, I would smile. Instant happiness. That was the moment I realized food is love.
I also became known as a snack-monster between my close friends. I would hear snack packets being opened and would instantly turn to the source of it. Which would usually be my friend and we would proceed to laugh because I look so desperate for food. I don't mind though, isn't it cute? And most of the time they would offer me the snack so hey, I ain't complaining.
In short, I am not a difficult person to cheer up. Just give me some food, preferably some snacks, with a side of Kpop and comfort and I'm all good.
Just kidding. But it would work though. I am usually a happy person too so it's not always that I get upset. Even if I do it won't last long. And so many things can make me feel better.
Kpop being one of the main one. Or just music overall. Music actually makes a lot of things better. I get so defensive when people sort of judge people who like Kpop because you know what? If it makes you happy then go ahead. Then again, I do judge hardcore fangirls of Kpop...
Anyways, another thing that makes me happy is spending quality time with friends and family. Who wouldn't be happy with that right? Ooh and cats. Cats make me feel better too.
Of course, another sure thing to make me feel better is food. I realized this when I started degree. Sometimes in the morning class, without any reason I would feel, sort of unhappy? Or just moody in general. And then we would have a break and would usually eat. I noticed that as soon as I see all the food, I would smile. Instant happiness. That was the moment I realized food is love.
I also became known as a snack-monster between my close friends. I would hear snack packets being opened and would instantly turn to the source of it. Which would usually be my friend and we would proceed to laugh because I look so desperate for food. I don't mind though, isn't it cute? And most of the time they would offer me the snack so hey, I ain't complaining.
In short, I am not a difficult person to cheer up. Just give me some food, preferably some snacks, with a side of Kpop and comfort and I'm all good.
Entry #22 Something that upsets me
Hello, things have been steadily progressing. I have 3 entries in line about things that upset me, makes me happy and makes me cry. So I took a bit of rest before continuing these entries.
I get upset over the smallest things actually. But what is something that really upsets me? Hmm, upset also brings a bit of slightly different meanings. For this, I would say it's about something that makes me feel unhappy.
I guess one of it would be, when people seek beauty and suffer to achieve it. It sounds really deep but it's not that deep. What I mean is that sometimes, or make that a number of times, my friends would say something along the lines of "Oh look at her legs, so skinny" or "Oh my god did you see ___? Handsome or beautiful nak mampos". Then they would usually proceed to humiliate themselves, like saying their legs are fat or they're not pretty. They would then proceed to make efforts to make themselves pretty, like dieting or taking beauty supplements. I mean, if you want it badly then it's up to you I guess.
I just get so frustrated when I see people praising someone for their beauty. Like, so what if they're pretty? I get especially mad when I see the people they are praising and it turns out they have so many layers of makeup caked and they don't even look their age and I dunno, they just look so superficial to me.
But it's not like I can freely express my distaste when people praise beautiful people. If I do people might think I'm just being bitter and jealous. Well, I do know I'm not as beautiful as those people, but I still think I'm pretty enough and honestly? I don't freaking care if you're more beautiful than me. So what?
Man, people might really think I'm actually being bitter. Well I just don't like it when people praise to the point of idolizing someone because of their looks. I just don't get impressed by it. Maybe it's because I've grown up watching cartoons and shows where the pretty people are usually the bad people. Like, the backstabbers and the fakers and the ones who don't end up well in the end.
Thinking about it, some might question my liking to Kpop, because you know visuals play a big role in Kpop. I admit that. But it's not like I only like them because they're beautiful and really, I don't always go for the visuals. I usually like the quieter ones. And I like Kpop as in the music. Like, duh, obviously I wanna buy the album to listen to oppa's face right?
So yeah, I do get quite upset when my friends praise someone just for their beauty like if they pay attention to me they would probably notice my distaste whenever it comes up because I'm not that good in hiding my expressions actually.
Seriously people, looks are only temporary. Your personality is forever.
I get upset over the smallest things actually. But what is something that really upsets me? Hmm, upset also brings a bit of slightly different meanings. For this, I would say it's about something that makes me feel unhappy.
I guess one of it would be, when people seek beauty and suffer to achieve it. It sounds really deep but it's not that deep. What I mean is that sometimes, or make that a number of times, my friends would say something along the lines of "Oh look at her legs, so skinny" or "Oh my god did you see ___? Handsome or beautiful nak mampos". Then they would usually proceed to humiliate themselves, like saying their legs are fat or they're not pretty. They would then proceed to make efforts to make themselves pretty, like dieting or taking beauty supplements. I mean, if you want it badly then it's up to you I guess.
I just get so frustrated when I see people praising someone for their beauty. Like, so what if they're pretty? I get especially mad when I see the people they are praising and it turns out they have so many layers of makeup caked and they don't even look their age and I dunno, they just look so superficial to me.
But it's not like I can freely express my distaste when people praise beautiful people. If I do people might think I'm just being bitter and jealous. Well, I do know I'm not as beautiful as those people, but I still think I'm pretty enough and honestly? I don't freaking care if you're more beautiful than me. So what?
Man, people might really think I'm actually being bitter. Well I just don't like it when people praise to the point of idolizing someone because of their looks. I just don't get impressed by it. Maybe it's because I've grown up watching cartoons and shows where the pretty people are usually the bad people. Like, the backstabbers and the fakers and the ones who don't end up well in the end.
Thinking about it, some might question my liking to Kpop, because you know visuals play a big role in Kpop. I admit that. But it's not like I only like them because they're beautiful and really, I don't always go for the visuals. I usually like the quieter ones. And I like Kpop as in the music. Like, duh, obviously I wanna buy the album to listen to oppa's face right?
So yeah, I do get quite upset when my friends praise someone just for their beauty like if they pay attention to me they would probably notice my distaste whenever it comes up because I'm not that good in hiding my expressions actually.
Seriously people, looks are only temporary. Your personality is forever.
Entry #21 Another moment
Ah. Another post on a moment. Hmm. I have a lot of those moments where I feel like it's a scene from a movie but right now I can't think of something to write about.
There is one moment I remember during Asasi, when we were in Dengkil. I dunno what day it was whether it was the weekends or the weekdays but it was night and somehow I met up with my friend. I think we went to buy some food and then just ended up strolling through our not-so-huge campus.
Then we reached the basketball court or just a court where you can play sports and there weren't any people there. It was a cool night and it was getting pretty late but we were just enjoying the night and we ended up lying at the court and just watching the stars. I don't really remember if there were a lot of stars, but I do remember there were a lot of airplanes flying over. Every 5-10 minutes one would fly by.
There was just the two of us and I don't even remember what we talked about but it was just a comforting moment and thinking back on it, it really feels like a cliche scene from a movie. I think we ended up talking about fanfics at one point where I changed her life forever by introducing fanfics. I might regret that a bit haha.
What else is there hmm... I'm sure there were hundreds of movie-like moments when I was in band but right now I can't seem to recall any. There's too much to think of. I mean, it was five years. And every moment was like a movie. Fuhh how's that for being cheesy~?
I think it was fun when we were in Form 5. Because we were the seniors of course hahaha. Nah, being the seniors came with a lot of troubles too. But it was still fun. I like the moments in the afternoon when we were at court, and during breaks we would sit at the main drum major stand and sing all the songs that came to mind.
Come to think of it, I think I enjoyed the moments where we sang together the most. Those were also the moments where it feels like a movie, right?
Aahh, I really miss those moments.
There is one moment I remember during Asasi, when we were in Dengkil. I dunno what day it was whether it was the weekends or the weekdays but it was night and somehow I met up with my friend. I think we went to buy some food and then just ended up strolling through our not-so-huge campus.
Then we reached the basketball court or just a court where you can play sports and there weren't any people there. It was a cool night and it was getting pretty late but we were just enjoying the night and we ended up lying at the court and just watching the stars. I don't really remember if there were a lot of stars, but I do remember there were a lot of airplanes flying over. Every 5-10 minutes one would fly by.
There was just the two of us and I don't even remember what we talked about but it was just a comforting moment and thinking back on it, it really feels like a cliche scene from a movie. I think we ended up talking about fanfics at one point where I changed her life forever by introducing fanfics. I might regret that a bit haha.
What else is there hmm... I'm sure there were hundreds of movie-like moments when I was in band but right now I can't seem to recall any. There's too much to think of. I mean, it was five years. And every moment was like a movie. Fuhh how's that for being cheesy~?
I think it was fun when we were in Form 5. Because we were the seniors of course hahaha. Nah, being the seniors came with a lot of troubles too. But it was still fun. I like the moments in the afternoon when we were at court, and during breaks we would sit at the main drum major stand and sing all the songs that came to mind.
Come to think of it, I think I enjoyed the moments where we sang together the most. Those were also the moments where it feels like a movie, right?
Aahh, I really miss those moments.
Entry #20 This month
... has been tiring. Nah just kidding. I am so off-track for this challenge which is why I feel like it's tiring haha. I am catching up on all the posts. Anyway, on to this month.
The beginning was okay, I adjusted with the class schedules and our project was on-going smoothly. Then Monsta X announces their comeback date and I was shook. Prelude night came and so did all Monsta X's teasers which really keeps my energy up. Prelude night went well and classes were okay.
Then the fated day came. 21st of March.
MONSTA X The Clan Part 2.5 : The Final Chapter
They released the MV and album and I managed to watch the MV before class and fangirled all through class. I couldn't find the album yet and when I did I was too busy waiting for the tickets to watch my friend's performance. They went live on Vapp for the comeback show and again I couldn't watch it properly because I was waiting for my friend's performance to start.
My friend went on stage and they were amazing. We yelled like crazy and maybe I was being biased, but their performance was really nice. And guess what? They got third for the competition, out of around 13 teams? It was amazing.
Then I had assignments to do and only this weekend did I get to really enjoy and appreciate the full album and the comeback show. Oh my goodness I love them so much and my heart hurts so much seeing all the efforts Monbebes are putting to get them their first win. I really hope they win and I do help them where I can but it's hard. I feel so bad so I just hope they get what they truly deserve and most importantly they get enough rest and not get hurt.
So that's it for the month so far? Yup, the highlight for this month is the one and only Monsta X. Nothing really interesting happens in my life okay so they are the only highlight of the month.
Well look at me updating all these entries now. I am so sorry to myself for not keeping with the schedule and piling everything up and only throwing up all of these now. Well, fighting Fatin! Ganbatte! Let's get it, SIR!
The beginning was okay, I adjusted with the class schedules and our project was on-going smoothly. Then Monsta X announces their comeback date and I was shook. Prelude night came and so did all Monsta X's teasers which really keeps my energy up. Prelude night went well and classes were okay.
Then the fated day came. 21st of March.
MONSTA X The Clan Part 2.5 : The Final Chapter
They released the MV and album and I managed to watch the MV before class and fangirled all through class. I couldn't find the album yet and when I did I was too busy waiting for the tickets to watch my friend's performance. They went live on Vapp for the comeback show and again I couldn't watch it properly because I was waiting for my friend's performance to start.
My friend went on stage and they were amazing. We yelled like crazy and maybe I was being biased, but their performance was really nice. And guess what? They got third for the competition, out of around 13 teams? It was amazing.
Then I had assignments to do and only this weekend did I get to really enjoy and appreciate the full album and the comeback show. Oh my goodness I love them so much and my heart hurts so much seeing all the efforts Monbebes are putting to get them their first win. I really hope they win and I do help them where I can but it's hard. I feel so bad so I just hope they get what they truly deserve and most importantly they get enough rest and not get hurt.
So that's it for the month so far? Yup, the highlight for this month is the one and only Monsta X. Nothing really interesting happens in my life okay so they are the only highlight of the month.
Well look at me updating all these entries now. I am so sorry to myself for not keeping with the schedule and piling everything up and only throwing up all of these now. Well, fighting Fatin! Ganbatte! Let's get it, SIR!
Entry #19 Something I regret
Hmm this is quite a difficult one. I am sure I do have regrets but to think of one to write, I don't really have any. I mean, yes, I have regrets, but I don't dwell on it and thinking "Ah, if only I did this..."
I try to be as happy as I can so I don't really think of anything to regret on. On small things, maybe I do think I should have done something but it's never anything big like I should have chose a different course for example or went to a different school or anything. Nothing life changing.
The only thing I would be regretting is not stanning Monsta X from the beginning. That probably would have changed my life.
Besides, if you keep on thinking on your regrets and sighing about it, it's not gonna change anything. You can sigh all you want and still nothing changes. So don't sigh. Don't dwell on your regrets and just move forward. (When did this suddenly become so motivating-sounding lol)
AH! I have something I regret. Not doing this challenge on time. Would have saved me a lot of time and would probably result in more quality writing and content. But now I'm just forcing myself to write hmm..
I try to be as happy as I can so I don't really think of anything to regret on. On small things, maybe I do think I should have done something but it's never anything big like I should have chose a different course for example or went to a different school or anything. Nothing life changing.
The only thing I would be regretting is not stanning Monsta X from the beginning. That probably would have changed my life.
Besides, if you keep on thinking on your regrets and sighing about it, it's not gonna change anything. You can sigh all you want and still nothing changes. So don't sigh. Don't dwell on your regrets and just move forward. (When did this suddenly become so motivating-sounding lol)
AH! I have something I regret. Not doing this challenge on time. Would have saved me a lot of time and would probably result in more quality writing and content. But now I'm just forcing myself to write hmm..
Entry #18 My favorite birthday
Birthdays for me was never celebrated too grandly. My family would usually just bring me out for dinner. When I was younger we would always go somewhere a bit expensive, and at that time it was always PizzaHut. I would rarely get presents, but I remember one time I got a pink bag and also a pink hairbrush and some other pink stuffs. I wonder why it was pink back then.
As I get older and enter university usually we won't get to celebrate my birthday on the day itself so we usually have a belated-birthday dinner. And it doesn't need to be anywhere expensive, as long as we get to eat with the full house. Presents are out of the question hahaha the last present I got was a body scrub set and blackhead removing patch from my sister. What are you trying to say huh Kakak??
But then the most recent birthday celebration I had was quite interesting. It was my birthday and my Maklong went back to Brunei from Malaysia on that day. When my mom accidentally told her she was upset(?) because she wanted to celebrate it. I was like, nah nevermind it's just my birthday haha. To make her happy we went and bought two slices of cake at Secret Recipe to celebrate. PS, Oreo Cheesecake is just nice because I like Oreos and cheesecake, but it's nothing too amazing.
And then sometime in January? She came to Malaysia again and she held an open house and invited all the big family even from my dad's side. Because I was part of the host family I just wore a simple t-shirt and slacks and my usual tudung hitam. But then she insisted that I change into something prettier. So okay in the end I went back with my sister to get changed. I wore a blouse and jeans and a grey tudung. And so the open house went on.
Suddenly as I was chilling in the kitchen with my siblings my Maklong came and called me. I was like okay what's this and then we went to the living room and then I saw people setting up a cake and I felt it. Okay, maybe this is a celebration. For my birthday.
And we went to see the cake and yup it says "Happy Belated 19th Birthday Amira~"
So yeah and then we sang the birthday song and I just awkwardly clapped and then blew the candle and then I said thank you to my Maklong and Paklong and went to hug her. Because I felt touched at that time. It was a really sweet gesture and I was not expecting it so it was truly a surprise.
I wouldn't exactly call it my favorite birthday but it was the most recent one. I'll probably like all the upcoming ones as well so yeah. I really don't make a big deal out of birthdays.
As I get older and enter university usually we won't get to celebrate my birthday on the day itself so we usually have a belated-birthday dinner. And it doesn't need to be anywhere expensive, as long as we get to eat with the full house. Presents are out of the question hahaha the last present I got was a body scrub set and blackhead removing patch from my sister. What are you trying to say huh Kakak??
But then the most recent birthday celebration I had was quite interesting. It was my birthday and my Maklong went back to Brunei from Malaysia on that day. When my mom accidentally told her she was upset(?) because she wanted to celebrate it. I was like, nah nevermind it's just my birthday haha. To make her happy we went and bought two slices of cake at Secret Recipe to celebrate. PS, Oreo Cheesecake is just nice because I like Oreos and cheesecake, but it's nothing too amazing.
And then sometime in January? She came to Malaysia again and she held an open house and invited all the big family even from my dad's side. Because I was part of the host family I just wore a simple t-shirt and slacks and my usual tudung hitam. But then she insisted that I change into something prettier. So okay in the end I went back with my sister to get changed. I wore a blouse and jeans and a grey tudung. And so the open house went on.
Suddenly as I was chilling in the kitchen with my siblings my Maklong came and called me. I was like okay what's this and then we went to the living room and then I saw people setting up a cake and I felt it. Okay, maybe this is a celebration. For my birthday.
And we went to see the cake and yup it says "Happy Belated 19th Birthday Amira~"
So yeah and then we sang the birthday song and I just awkwardly clapped and then blew the candle and then I said thank you to my Maklong and Paklong and went to hug her. Because I felt touched at that time. It was a really sweet gesture and I was not expecting it so it was truly a surprise.
I wouldn't exactly call it my favorite birthday but it was the most recent one. I'll probably like all the upcoming ones as well so yeah. I really don't make a big deal out of birthdays.
Entry #17 My favorite memory
Hmm there's a lot of nice memories to think about. But I guess most of the nicest ones are from my band days.
First there's the wins of the competitions. The practices are hell and then the competitions come and you just pray for the best and give your everything during the performance. Then the wait for the results. Most of the times we would already be so freaking exhausted but we still have to stand proud and keep our heads up.
And so we pray, and when our name was announced as the winner, the best colorguards, the best percussion, best sound, the cheers of the supporters are deafening and you want to scream too, but no, hold it in, you're still in line. Tears might already fall but still you wait. Everything is announced and the drum major gives the command to keluar baris and only then do you scream all your hearts out. Whoever was standing around you gets hugged and you forget all the tiredness and even if you disliked someone from the team you love them at that moment because you've won.
So yeah, that's one of my favorite memories. I was lucky to never experience defeat too. I feel so bad for my juniors who did experience that, so I did my best to cheer them up at that time.
Ah speaking of band, I was also lucky enough to get solos. Well, technically none of them were really solos but it was a moment for me to shine a bit and I liked to think they were solos muehehehe.
One of them was during Form 2 but I hated that one because of some people. I'm not gonna talk about that. There's also one during Form 4 but that was a whole pitt solo and I loved it.
The one I remember was during a concert and we had this song we never played before and somehow I got the glockenspiel mini solo part together with the tubas. The first time I practiced this with Sir I got the beat right (thank goodness for Finale) but then he asked me "Bb?" and I was like "... um yeah" but actually I just realized that it was flat because I didn't notice the key signature so I played natural the first time lol.
It wasn't too difficult and I didn't get scolded a lot over it and when it was time to perform I think the crowd even clapped after the mini solo. So yeah, I liked that feeling hihi.
And of course all the countless memories with my friends in band. There's too many to think of and if I do think about it too long it would be a trip down memory lane. So I'll stop here.
First there's the wins of the competitions. The practices are hell and then the competitions come and you just pray for the best and give your everything during the performance. Then the wait for the results. Most of the times we would already be so freaking exhausted but we still have to stand proud and keep our heads up.
And so we pray, and when our name was announced as the winner, the best colorguards, the best percussion, best sound, the cheers of the supporters are deafening and you want to scream too, but no, hold it in, you're still in line. Tears might already fall but still you wait. Everything is announced and the drum major gives the command to keluar baris and only then do you scream all your hearts out. Whoever was standing around you gets hugged and you forget all the tiredness and even if you disliked someone from the team you love them at that moment because you've won.
So yeah, that's one of my favorite memories. I was lucky to never experience defeat too. I feel so bad for my juniors who did experience that, so I did my best to cheer them up at that time.
Ah speaking of band, I was also lucky enough to get solos. Well, technically none of them were really solos but it was a moment for me to shine a bit and I liked to think they were solos muehehehe.
One of them was during Form 2 but I hated that one because of some people. I'm not gonna talk about that. There's also one during Form 4 but that was a whole pitt solo and I loved it.
The one I remember was during a concert and we had this song we never played before and somehow I got the glockenspiel mini solo part together with the tubas. The first time I practiced this with Sir I got the beat right (thank goodness for Finale) but then he asked me "Bb?" and I was like "... um yeah" but actually I just realized that it was flat because I didn't notice the key signature so I played natural the first time lol.
It wasn't too difficult and I didn't get scolded a lot over it and when it was time to perform I think the crowd even clapped after the mini solo. So yeah, I liked that feeling hihi.
And of course all the countless memories with my friends in band. There's too many to think of and if I do think about it too long it would be a trip down memory lane. So I'll stop here.
Entry #16 My first kiss
...has never happened. Psych!
Seriously though, my first kiss? I ain't kissing no one except my husband. It is haram to even touch if you are not mahram.
Wouldn't it be so romantic the first time your husband would hold your hand (halal ye) and like, kiss your forehead or something? It would be so special.
Yes, I would love to get married and be clingy. But there's waayy too many things I should be focusing on first and why not enjoy a bachelor's life for a while? It's just as fun anyway.
And so, as short as my love-life, this entry would now end.
Seriously though, my first kiss? I ain't kissing no one except my husband. It is haram to even touch if you are not mahram.
Wouldn't it be so romantic the first time your husband would hold your hand (halal ye) and like, kiss your forehead or something? It would be so special.
Yes, I would love to get married and be clingy. But there's waayy too many things I should be focusing on first and why not enjoy a bachelor's life for a while? It's just as fun anyway.
And so, as short as my love-life, this entry would now end.
Entry #15 My dreams
OMG I HAVE SO MANY ENTRIES PILED UP!
This was supposed to be a fun thing, but then I ended up procrastinating and have too many entries left. Sigh.
Anyways, this one is for dreams. I'm not gonna go literal and talk about what my dreams when I sleep are about. What I dream to be or what I hope for.
I don't know when this started but one day I probably read something really nice and I thought, you know what? I wanna do this too. Write something so beautiful it touches the readers.
Yes, I do dream to be a writer. I wanna write a story, be it fictional or not, that would change the readers. Whether it's so sad they cry, or so happy that they feel happy as well, or so inspiring that they also become inspired. I don't know, I just want to make someone read something that I wrote, and be like "This touched me".
On the crazier side of things, I dream to be a psychiatrist for kpop idols. Imagine having them come up to me and tell me all their fears and insecurities and I would be super understanding and be all like "You're perfect, who the heck cares what other people think". Nah, just kidding. But I really feel for all these insecure idols like 'honey, please don't worry' but of course, it's not that simple.
What else is there to dream? My dream house? Dream family? Nah I'm too lazy to write about these hahaha nasib ah.
This was supposed to be a fun thing, but then I ended up procrastinating and have too many entries left. Sigh.
Anyways, this one is for dreams. I'm not gonna go literal and talk about what my dreams when I sleep are about. What I dream to be or what I hope for.
I don't know when this started but one day I probably read something really nice and I thought, you know what? I wanna do this too. Write something so beautiful it touches the readers.
Yes, I do dream to be a writer. I wanna write a story, be it fictional or not, that would change the readers. Whether it's so sad they cry, or so happy that they feel happy as well, or so inspiring that they also become inspired. I don't know, I just want to make someone read something that I wrote, and be like "This touched me".
On the crazier side of things, I dream to be a psychiatrist for kpop idols. Imagine having them come up to me and tell me all their fears and insecurities and I would be super understanding and be all like "You're perfect, who the heck cares what other people think". Nah, just kidding. But I really feel for all these insecure idols like 'honey, please don't worry' but of course, it's not that simple.
What else is there to dream? My dream house? Dream family? Nah I'm too lazy to write about these hahaha nasib ah.
Entry #14 OOTD again
Hurm I don't remember what I wore on 14/3... Even today I didn't wear anything special. Just my usual. Maybe I'll just tell you my usual outfit?
From the top, I would always wear a black tudung bawal, the style varies on the top I'm wearing, but it would usually be pinned to both sides or not pinned at all. Or when I'm feeling a bit adventurous one would be pinned to the side and one would be pinned on top of my head.
For tops, I would usually either wear a t-shirt with a checkered shirt on top, or a long-sleeved t-shirt. I don't have a lot of options really. For my pants it would always be my baggy black slacks. I have a black skirt but I rarely wear it. I also have one pair of jeans but there's a hole on it and it's still not patched up so yeah black slacks it is for now. I do want to wear those jeans, as they are more fit than my baggy slacks. That's not really a good thing isn't it? Clothes that are tight and shows your figure? But yeah, I like to wear them.
Shoes! I used to have my favorite shoes which are like a sneakers but it's just slipped on because there's no laces but it's already too worn out and has holes everywhere lol. So now I would usually wear these flats with black and white stripes. I prefer wearing another sneakers, but they got wet because of the rain one day and I think it's smelly even now. I also have the option of my sport shoes but I'm still getting used to them so I would only wear them sometimes. Socks are compulsory as I feel uncomfortable wearing shoes without socks.
And that's my usual daily wear. I'm a pretty boring and unfashionable person so what can you expect?
From the top, I would always wear a black tudung bawal, the style varies on the top I'm wearing, but it would usually be pinned to both sides or not pinned at all. Or when I'm feeling a bit adventurous one would be pinned to the side and one would be pinned on top of my head.
For tops, I would usually either wear a t-shirt with a checkered shirt on top, or a long-sleeved t-shirt. I don't have a lot of options really. For my pants it would always be my baggy black slacks. I have a black skirt but I rarely wear it. I also have one pair of jeans but there's a hole on it and it's still not patched up so yeah black slacks it is for now. I do want to wear those jeans, as they are more fit than my baggy slacks. That's not really a good thing isn't it? Clothes that are tight and shows your figure? But yeah, I like to wear them.
Shoes! I used to have my favorite shoes which are like a sneakers but it's just slipped on because there's no laces but it's already too worn out and has holes everywhere lol. So now I would usually wear these flats with black and white stripes. I prefer wearing another sneakers, but they got wet because of the rain one day and I think it's smelly even now. I also have the option of my sport shoes but I'm still getting used to them so I would only wear them sometimes. Socks are compulsory as I feel uncomfortable wearing shoes without socks.
And that's my usual daily wear. I'm a pretty boring and unfashionable person so what can you expect?
Entry #13 This week
This week has been pretty hectic. I had the Prelude night so that was quite an interesting event.
I went back home during the weekends but I had to come back to college by Saturday night because we had to decorate the hall that night. So that's what we did. It took us a long time and we were allowed to go back late at night.
The next day we were supposed to have a rehearsal in the morning, but that didn't happen. I couldn't really relax that day because even though we didn't have anything to do I was nervous for the event and I actually had a few assignments that I had to do. I had one I needed to send the next day, before noon. But of course I didn't do any of those. That night we had the actual rehearsal and it went okay. It ended late and when I got back to my room I had to do the assignment. I made a draft and was planning on editing it and submitting it the next morning before class. Hmm.
On Monday I had class at 10. And my roommate woke me up (the first warning sign, I was always the first person to be up in our room) and it was already 9:50. I still had to edit my work and send it. So I texted my friend saying I would be late to class as I just woke up. I edited my work half-assedly and sent the email to the lecturer. Only for it to be blocked. I DID NOT HAVE THE TIME FOR THIS! I panicked a little but then texted my friend and asked her about it and then tried something and voila, it's sent. Then I went to shower and went to class. So that was a nice start to the day.
I went to class, did some paperwork for the Prelude night and printed those, then went back to college. I got ready and had some last minute work which made me really panicked and so grateful to my heros who are my friend and her roommates. I should really buy some snacks for them. Anyway, it got off on a rocky start but Alhamdulillah, the Prelude night went by nicely. I am so happy for that night.
Moving on to Tuesday, we were supposed to have class at 11 but it was an online class so we didn't actually have to go to class. We just had to submit some stuffs and it was okay. Then I had a discussion for a presentation that was due on Thursday. So we went to the faculty and then we had class at 5:30. That night I stayed up a bit late working on the lesson plan for the presentation.
On Wednesdays we wear pink. Was that the line on Mean Girls? Anyway, on Wednesday we went to consult our lecturer on our presentation and it went well. Then we had class at 2-5pm. After class my high school friends asked me out to eat pasembor and cendol so I went out with them. It was nice. That night I worked on the presentation materials with my groupmates. The next day we were supposed to have PE class in the morning and a presentation afterwards so it was quite uncomfortable as we have to rush to change our clothes first. But Heaven was with us as the PE class was cancelled. Woohoo~!
So the next day we prepared our stuffs, and went to class and had our presentation. It went okay, there's a lot of things to improve on but it wasn't too bad. After that I went back to college. I could've gone back home because we didn't have any class on Friday but unfortunately I had a discussion on Friday. So I had to wait until Friday.
Friday came and I went for the discussion. I told my brother I was coming back in the afternoon around 4 but that didn't happen and he was actually waiting for me. I didn't know that and forgot to inform him that I would be late so he sulked. I promised to treat him to an asikrim potong because of that. And also my eldest brother because it was his birthday on Wednesday. And also my sister afterwards because she came to pick me up after my discussion. Aiskrim potong for all!
So that was how my week went. How about yours? Comment below and tell me whether your week was as busy as mine. (What is this, a YouTube video?)
Entry #12 What's in my bag
Hello~ I do not have a bag filled with stuffs right now but I'm assuming this is about my daily bag. For my daily bag that I bring to class I would usually bring a tote bag with sheep printings on it. In it would be my school materials, pencil case, umbrella, water bottle, a chinese fan and that's probably it. All my wallets and important things are in my pocket.
On days where I have a number of classes or I would have to bring my laptop I would bring my UM backpack or laptop backpack. In it would be my the same things as before, my laptop and telekung. I don't even bring my laptop charger as I would not really use the laptop for a long period of time.
Yeah I don't really have anything interesting in my bag. I just bring all the necessary things that are needed. I don't really have anything that I bring 'in case of an emergency' except for my umbrella I guess. Sorry for the boring content of my bag everyone. What else do people actually bring in their bag anyway?
On days where I have a number of classes or I would have to bring my laptop I would bring my UM backpack or laptop backpack. In it would be my the same things as before, my laptop and telekung. I don't even bring my laptop charger as I would not really use the laptop for a long period of time.
Yeah I don't really have anything interesting in my bag. I just bring all the necessary things that are needed. I don't really have anything that I bring 'in case of an emergency' except for my umbrella I guess. Sorry for the boring content of my bag everyone. What else do people actually bring in their bag anyway?
Entry #11 My siblings
Oh my goodness I have so many posts compiled that I have to write. I have been pretty busy last week as I had the Prelude night for my college and afterwards I just couldn't find the time to write. The night went well and I had fun. Now, on towards the entry!
My siblings are the greatest people in the world besides my parents. I love all of them.
First we have my eldest brother, Abang. Abang is the oldest but somehow he's not exactly the authoritative one between my siblings. That doesn't mean we don't respect him. We all view him as the smartest one and he is. He is pretty quiet and reserved and I relate to him in that aspect. Sometimes we tease him a lot but he's okay with it. If he's not okay with it he would get angry and his anger is something else. He does tend to lose his patience sometimes but it's not so often and usually it's not towards me so hehe. As we have a 8-year gap between us I was not very close to him when we were younger. And it didn't help that we were both quiet too. But then I started watching anime and you know as siblings enter university and live outside of the house you learn to appreciate them when they're home so you talk with them. So I achieved a topic where I could talk with him, which was anime. We're closer now, and we can talk about things other than anime.
Then we have my one and only sister, Kakak. As we are only have each other as girl siblings, it is expected that we're close right? Not at first actually. When we were younger I wasn't really close to her. I viewed her as someone higher than me and I would be a bother to her and things I say would not matter. Well, things change. Like I mentioned, you only really know how you would miss someone when they're gone. I only knew how to appreciate her when she went to university. We grew closer and then one day she showed me Super Junior and that was the beginning of everything. She introduced me to Kpop and since then we bonded over pastel pants and repetitive choruses. I would say I'm the closest to her now because our main interest is the same. Of course, it's not just about Kpop, it started with Kpop but it grew into everything else. I can't believe we can even discuss fanfictions these days.
Third and in the middle is my handsome brother Andi. He is the middle child and I'm not sure what stereotypes there are for middle children but he probably fits those stereotypes. Okay I won't be biased towards him. He is no 1 for handsomeness in my opinion. He's probably super happy about this. He can be sarcastic and always teases me. He would be the typical older brother to a younger sister, where he would tease me but secretly he's probably protective over me ehehe. He's pretty laid back and I do like talking to him about stuffs, especially future things. With him, our common interest would be games. He is the person I would play the PS2 with and he also taught me how to solve the rubik's cube. The games he likes are quite the same as me too, and we both love rhythm-based games. But he's more pro than me, he taps like crazy.
Fourth on the list is Paan. Paan is the maknae line together with me now that I think about it. I guess we were pretty close when we were younger as we're close in age. Or was he closer with Andi and left me alone being lonely? I don't remember these things and recently I remember seeing a video when we were younger and I seem to be close with Paan. But anyway we became closer in high school, when we both entered our respective school's marching band. It was a really interesting time, and I even cried for him one time (cey overdramatic much?). Obviously our common interest is marching band but overall we can talk about anything. I'm really close to him too. He confides to me too sometimes and I feel honored whenever he does that. Whenever anyone does that actually. He's a good brother, not only to me but to our older siblings as well. He is our go-to guy for everything, from house chores to changing the light bulbs. Our very reliable Paan.
And then there's me! Anak bongsu. I do not think I'm too spoiled like an anak bongsu but I do get less scoldings I guess? I do not know what my siblings think of me, but I would like to think they see me as their cute youngest sister who is growing up so fast and so well and they're so proud of me. (In reality they probably think I'm still the same annoying little sister with the annoying high-pitched voice who complains to my parents all the time and cries over the smallest things)
I love my siblings. I believe now we are closer than ever and I do feel grateful that my siblings do talk to me about serious things and do listen to what I have to say even though I am younger. Of course, most of the times I am still naive and inexperienced but they do hear what I have to say. I am happy. Love you guys, Farsi kids!
My siblings are the greatest people in the world besides my parents. I love all of them.
First we have my eldest brother, Abang. Abang is the oldest but somehow he's not exactly the authoritative one between my siblings. That doesn't mean we don't respect him. We all view him as the smartest one and he is. He is pretty quiet and reserved and I relate to him in that aspect. Sometimes we tease him a lot but he's okay with it. If he's not okay with it he would get angry and his anger is something else. He does tend to lose his patience sometimes but it's not so often and usually it's not towards me so hehe. As we have a 8-year gap between us I was not very close to him when we were younger. And it didn't help that we were both quiet too. But then I started watching anime and you know as siblings enter university and live outside of the house you learn to appreciate them when they're home so you talk with them. So I achieved a topic where I could talk with him, which was anime. We're closer now, and we can talk about things other than anime.
Then we have my one and only sister, Kakak. As we are only have each other as girl siblings, it is expected that we're close right? Not at first actually. When we were younger I wasn't really close to her. I viewed her as someone higher than me and I would be a bother to her and things I say would not matter. Well, things change. Like I mentioned, you only really know how you would miss someone when they're gone. I only knew how to appreciate her when she went to university. We grew closer and then one day she showed me Super Junior and that was the beginning of everything. She introduced me to Kpop and since then we bonded over pastel pants and repetitive choruses. I would say I'm the closest to her now because our main interest is the same. Of course, it's not just about Kpop, it started with Kpop but it grew into everything else. I can't believe we can even discuss fanfictions these days.
Third and in the middle is my handsome brother Andi. He is the middle child and I'm not sure what stereotypes there are for middle children but he probably fits those stereotypes. Okay I won't be biased towards him. He is no 1 for handsomeness in my opinion. He's probably super happy about this. He can be sarcastic and always teases me. He would be the typical older brother to a younger sister, where he would tease me but secretly he's probably protective over me ehehe. He's pretty laid back and I do like talking to him about stuffs, especially future things. With him, our common interest would be games. He is the person I would play the PS2 with and he also taught me how to solve the rubik's cube. The games he likes are quite the same as me too, and we both love rhythm-based games. But he's more pro than me, he taps like crazy.
Fourth on the list is Paan. Paan is the maknae line together with me now that I think about it. I guess we were pretty close when we were younger as we're close in age. Or was he closer with Andi and left me alone being lonely? I don't remember these things and recently I remember seeing a video when we were younger and I seem to be close with Paan. But anyway we became closer in high school, when we both entered our respective school's marching band. It was a really interesting time, and I even cried for him one time (cey overdramatic much?). Obviously our common interest is marching band but overall we can talk about anything. I'm really close to him too. He confides to me too sometimes and I feel honored whenever he does that. Whenever anyone does that actually. He's a good brother, not only to me but to our older siblings as well. He is our go-to guy for everything, from house chores to changing the light bulbs. Our very reliable Paan.
And then there's me! Anak bongsu. I do not think I'm too spoiled like an anak bongsu but I do get less scoldings I guess? I do not know what my siblings think of me, but I would like to think they see me as their cute youngest sister who is growing up so fast and so well and they're so proud of me. (In reality they probably think I'm still the same annoying little sister with the annoying high-pitched voice who complains to my parents all the time and cries over the smallest things)
I love my siblings. I believe now we are closer than ever and I do feel grateful that my siblings do talk to me about serious things and do listen to what I have to say even though I am younger. Of course, most of the times I am still naive and inexperienced but they do hear what I have to say. I am happy. Love you guys, Farsi kids!
Friday, March 10
Entry #10 OOTD
Outfit Of The Day.
Today for class I wore my brand new black jubah for the first time. I was kind of nervous because I have never worn a jubah before in my life actually, now that I think about it. I already requested my friend to wear jubah too so that I don't feel too awkward. She was surprised at first and said "Since when was Fatin this feminine?" Well excuse you. I am still a lady okay.
I wore the black jubah, black tudung bawal in the style where one part is pinned to the side and the other part is pinned up on my head (idk how to describe it lol), and my black and white striped flats. I guessed I looked okay.
Two of my classmates complimented me so I guess I can wear it again. One of them said "Fatin you look pretty today" and I was ready for this and replied "Only today? What about every other days?". But of course he was very nice and said I looked pretty everyday too kekeke. The other person who complimented me was very pretty and I was going to open the door to the classroom when suddenly she called me and said I looked pretty today~ Aww, I was so happy and thanked her.
And proceeded to almost fall from leaning on the table. Way to go Fatin. But that's legit how I would respond from compliments. By getting flustered and embarrassing myself hahaha.
After class I had to travel back so I changed clothes. I bet if anyone saw me from the morning class until the time I had to go back they would be surprised. I look like two different person in different clothes.
I wore the same tudung but just pinned both parts at the side. I put on a black t-shirt and wore a checkered shirt on top and wore black slacks and my sport shoes. It's not a total transformation but I just thought it was funny because I wore the jubah in the morning. Well, people know how I am anyway so they know that the jubah was definitely a rare occasion. As a matter of fact, while I was walking to class I met my school friend and she looked at me all suspiciously like "Is this really Fatin? What happened?". It was funny. Trust me friend I also do not know what happened.
That was what I wore today. I do have a wish to wear nice clothes and all that but I do not have le money. Money money money money~ MONEY! (Kudos to those who can guess what tune this is from). I mean, why spend money on clothes when you can spend it on food right?
I should step up my game a lil bit. I will, but slowly, one step at a time. Go by my own pace and my own style.
Today for class I wore my brand new black jubah for the first time. I was kind of nervous because I have never worn a jubah before in my life actually, now that I think about it. I already requested my friend to wear jubah too so that I don't feel too awkward. She was surprised at first and said "Since when was Fatin this feminine?" Well excuse you. I am still a lady okay.
I wore the black jubah, black tudung bawal in the style where one part is pinned to the side and the other part is pinned up on my head (idk how to describe it lol), and my black and white striped flats. I guessed I looked okay.
Two of my classmates complimented me so I guess I can wear it again. One of them said "Fatin you look pretty today" and I was ready for this and replied "Only today? What about every other days?". But of course he was very nice and said I looked pretty everyday too kekeke. The other person who complimented me was very pretty and I was going to open the door to the classroom when suddenly she called me and said I looked pretty today~ Aww, I was so happy and thanked her.
And proceeded to almost fall from leaning on the table. Way to go Fatin. But that's legit how I would respond from compliments. By getting flustered and embarrassing myself hahaha.
After class I had to travel back so I changed clothes. I bet if anyone saw me from the morning class until the time I had to go back they would be surprised. I look like two different person in different clothes.
I wore the same tudung but just pinned both parts at the side. I put on a black t-shirt and wore a checkered shirt on top and wore black slacks and my sport shoes. It's not a total transformation but I just thought it was funny because I wore the jubah in the morning. Well, people know how I am anyway so they know that the jubah was definitely a rare occasion. As a matter of fact, while I was walking to class I met my school friend and she looked at me all suspiciously like "Is this really Fatin? What happened?". It was funny. Trust me friend I also do not know what happened.
That was what I wore today. I do have a wish to wear nice clothes and all that but I do not have le money. Money money money money~ MONEY! (Kudos to those who can guess what tune this is from). I mean, why spend money on clothes when you can spend it on food right?
I should step up my game a lil bit. I will, but slowly, one step at a time. Go by my own pace and my own style.
Thursday, March 9
Entry #9 My beliefs
Hello~ So today's prompt is my beliefs. Hmm, there's a lot to believe in but I guess I'll write about my belief as in religion.
I am a Muslim. I practice Islam. I might not be perfect but I'm working towards it. There are things that I do that are sins, and I should really fix that.
I don't really feel comfortable to write about me, cos I feel awkward but I can tell you something that is sort of related. The other day my friend said she chatted with her friends and they came to the topic of "What would you want to do if you were not a Muslim? If you do not practice any religion?" Well maybe not that serious, but you get the point.
Surprisingly enough, one of our friends who I perceive to be slightly pious? Is that what you call 'alim' in English? I guess so. So our friend who I perceive as slightly pious, said that she would want to do something that is pretty bad not just as a Muslim but as a person. But now that I think about it, I think she didn't really mean it, she was just joking.
So what my friend said she would want to do was paint her nails and dye her hair. And then the others said that she was boring. I told her she can always paint her nails with the peel-off nail polish and she said she knows that but it's tedious.
And so I thought of what I would want to do. I actually thought of it before and the only thing I really really feel like doing is just dye my hair and be free-hair. That's it. I guess I'm also boring. I really like the idea though, I would want to keep my hair long and have a streak of red in my hair, or go all crazy and dye it full red or pink with a single black streak. Okay I'm going too far but you get the idea.
From this observation though, I think that I don't really think too much about it because I am a Muslim, and I can't do these things. So I just don't do it and dwell on it. Yeah now that I think about it, there are Muslims who dye their hair. But you know, I just don't do it because I'm not allowed to and surely there's a good reason behind it.
Like, the main reason I would want to be free-hair is because I believe I look prettier. Then that's okay, I'll just show my prettier side to my husband. There's no problem with that right? I am just the kind of person where if I can see the rational behind it I just don't question it.
Also, I am the kind of person who does not have a strong stand. For example I know some people are all for these rights movements but I am really in the middle where everything depends on the situation. I just dislike people who push their beliefs into others. Just respect everyone's opinion and preference. I can't really write much about these issues because I don't have a lot of knowledge about it.
How did I get here again? Oh well.
I am a Muslim. I practice Islam. I might not be perfect but I'm working towards it. There are things that I do that are sins, and I should really fix that.
I don't really feel comfortable to write about me, cos I feel awkward but I can tell you something that is sort of related. The other day my friend said she chatted with her friends and they came to the topic of "What would you want to do if you were not a Muslim? If you do not practice any religion?" Well maybe not that serious, but you get the point.
Surprisingly enough, one of our friends who I perceive to be slightly pious? Is that what you call 'alim' in English? I guess so. So our friend who I perceive as slightly pious, said that she would want to do something that is pretty bad not just as a Muslim but as a person. But now that I think about it, I think she didn't really mean it, she was just joking.
So what my friend said she would want to do was paint her nails and dye her hair. And then the others said that she was boring. I told her she can always paint her nails with the peel-off nail polish and she said she knows that but it's tedious.
And so I thought of what I would want to do. I actually thought of it before and the only thing I really really feel like doing is just dye my hair and be free-hair. That's it. I guess I'm also boring. I really like the idea though, I would want to keep my hair long and have a streak of red in my hair, or go all crazy and dye it full red or pink with a single black streak. Okay I'm going too far but you get the idea.
From this observation though, I think that I don't really think too much about it because I am a Muslim, and I can't do these things. So I just don't do it and dwell on it. Yeah now that I think about it, there are Muslims who dye their hair. But you know, I just don't do it because I'm not allowed to and surely there's a good reason behind it.
Like, the main reason I would want to be free-hair is because I believe I look prettier. Then that's okay, I'll just show my prettier side to my husband. There's no problem with that right? I am just the kind of person where if I can see the rational behind it I just don't question it.
Also, I am the kind of person who does not have a strong stand. For example I know some people are all for these rights movements but I am really in the middle where everything depends on the situation. I just dislike people who push their beliefs into others. Just respect everyone's opinion and preference. I can't really write much about these issues because I don't have a lot of knowledge about it.
How did I get here again? Oh well.
Wednesday, March 8
Entry #8 A moment
...of silence for all the hyperventilating Monbebes. Today's teaser photo was Wonho's and he looks as amazing as ever.
I just realized I haven't wrote today's entry and it's 10 minutes to midnight so I have to quickly write this.
Today it rained super heavily and my friends and I had no choice but to walk in the rain with our umbrellas. I could swear the thunderstorm was following us because all the lightning strikes felt really close by, no matter how far we've walked! I was really scared but Alhamdulillah nothing happened. My whole feet got soaked and a large portion of my trousers too but it's no big deal. I safely arrived at my room and since there was nothing urgent I had to do, I lied down on my bed and browsed Pinterest (because I was too scared to use the laptop).
I was browsing through INFJ things and I suddenly remembered Wonho. I remembered the psychoanalysis they did on the last episode of Monsta X-ray and suddenly it hit me. Wonho is an INFJ. I'm not 100% sure of it, but if he was then it would make sense. And I felt connected to him and just wanted to give him a big hug and tell him he's not alone.
And that's it for today. Aww I feel bad for not writing more interesting things but I'm running out of time and I really want to upload on time so that it won't pile up. So I guess this is it. But no worries, I think there's more prompts on "moments" so I can plan to write more interesting moments for those.
Bye~
I just realized I haven't wrote today's entry and it's 10 minutes to midnight so I have to quickly write this.
Today it rained super heavily and my friends and I had no choice but to walk in the rain with our umbrellas. I could swear the thunderstorm was following us because all the lightning strikes felt really close by, no matter how far we've walked! I was really scared but Alhamdulillah nothing happened. My whole feet got soaked and a large portion of my trousers too but it's no big deal. I safely arrived at my room and since there was nothing urgent I had to do, I lied down on my bed and browsed Pinterest (because I was too scared to use the laptop).
I was browsing through INFJ things and I suddenly remembered Wonho. I remembered the psychoanalysis they did on the last episode of Monsta X-ray and suddenly it hit me. Wonho is an INFJ. I'm not 100% sure of it, but if he was then it would make sense. And I felt connected to him and just wanted to give him a big hug and tell him he's not alone.
And that's it for today. Aww I feel bad for not writing more interesting things but I'm running out of time and I really want to upload on time so that it won't pile up. So I guess this is it. But no worries, I think there's more prompts on "moments" so I can plan to write more interesting moments for those.
Bye~
Tuesday, March 7
Entry #7 Best friend
Another prompt I'm not good at. My best friend.
I do not really have someone I would call my best friend but I have a number of people I would call my best friends. Ever since I was in primary school I always feared the question who's your best friend because 1. I do not know whether the person I would claim to be my best friend would feel the same or they would just think I'm clingy or even worse, pity me because I chose them as my best friend but they do not feel the same and 2. I would feel bad if I chose someone and the another person who I am also close too would want to chose me as their best friend and so I have made someone feel bad.
So yes, I actually have a fear of calling someone my best friend. Maybe it's because I thought best friends have to do everything together and would always pair up and hang out with their best friend without any exception. I am a very clingy person but I also do not like to be viewed as pathetic because I would only cling to one person and when the person hangs out with other people I would be all out of place and awkward.
Which was also why I decided that doing things by myself is way easier. I do not have a problem walking or eating by myself. I must look so lonely and borderline pathetic but who cares what people think? I am perfectly happy doing things by myself.
That being said, I still have close friends that I would be super clingy with and I would have no fear just being myself around them.
Before my schooling days, it would be the cousin that I spoke of earlier in the first love post. We were like glued at the hip. Then I entered primary school and in Standard 1 it was this person who was sort of my cousin or actually aunty? But she was my classmate so we became close friends. Then in Standard 2 up to Standard 5 there was this one person who we would name NAF. Then in Standard 6 I sort of had a clique and it felt nice.
Enter high school, and one single decision changed my life. I decided to join a marching band. Starting from Form 1 I didn't really have a specific person I cling to, it was usually in groups. For classmates there were different groups of people and in band there were different groups of people. I remember in Form 2? Or was it Form 3? There were 5 of us band kids in the same class and we called ourselves Budak Kekalutan for some reason or another. Also a really nice memory.
And after 5 years of spending time together, there was Budak Pitt. My section mates. They are some of the best people I've met. We've fought each other, we've fought together, we've cried and we've laughed and it would always be a memory I would treasure.
One thing I need to mention is that somehow whenever I move on to another stage of life, most of the times I just drift off from the people who I was once so close to. As of right now, the only people I actively keep in contact with are Geng Pitt (+Sarah). I'm sort of a bad person, where you would be the person who would need to start the conversation or anything because I would not do so. If I do, then you should know that you are very special.
After high school there was Asasi. The people that I still keep in contact with (not including the people who are my classmates now) are these two people. I do treasure the friendship we have. Because they are usually the one to start the conversation and I feel so loved when they say that they miss me. I should really start texting them.
Now, in Degree. I have a person who I'm really clingy with. We're only in our second sem so I am slowly getting closer to all my classmates because there's not a lot of us. I am really learning how to be independent and not look too pathetic by doing things by myself.
Throughout all of this though, there was one person who was constantly there. She was with me since kindergarten up until now in uni. But somehow, we were never too clingy with each other. But she was always there and we are friends. We became closer in Asasi sem 2 because we were classmates. I am happy whenever I think about us hahaha omg that sounds super cheesy.
Best friends. It's nice to have them, and I know they're there but I just do not like to put a name on the friendship, as there would be sort of a burden behind it? Anyways, I do have them. And I treasure them so much even if I drifted apart from them, because they help me become who I am today too. Even if I do not contact them, know that I treasure all of our memories together.
I do not really have someone I would call my best friend but I have a number of people I would call my best friends. Ever since I was in primary school I always feared the question who's your best friend because 1. I do not know whether the person I would claim to be my best friend would feel the same or they would just think I'm clingy or even worse, pity me because I chose them as my best friend but they do not feel the same and 2. I would feel bad if I chose someone and the another person who I am also close too would want to chose me as their best friend and so I have made someone feel bad.
So yes, I actually have a fear of calling someone my best friend. Maybe it's because I thought best friends have to do everything together and would always pair up and hang out with their best friend without any exception. I am a very clingy person but I also do not like to be viewed as pathetic because I would only cling to one person and when the person hangs out with other people I would be all out of place and awkward.
Which was also why I decided that doing things by myself is way easier. I do not have a problem walking or eating by myself. I must look so lonely and borderline pathetic but who cares what people think? I am perfectly happy doing things by myself.
That being said, I still have close friends that I would be super clingy with and I would have no fear just being myself around them.
Before my schooling days, it would be the cousin that I spoke of earlier in the first love post. We were like glued at the hip. Then I entered primary school and in Standard 1 it was this person who was sort of my cousin or actually aunty? But she was my classmate so we became close friends. Then in Standard 2 up to Standard 5 there was this one person who we would name NAF. Then in Standard 6 I sort of had a clique and it felt nice.
Enter high school, and one single decision changed my life. I decided to join a marching band. Starting from Form 1 I didn't really have a specific person I cling to, it was usually in groups. For classmates there were different groups of people and in band there were different groups of people. I remember in Form 2? Or was it Form 3? There were 5 of us band kids in the same class and we called ourselves Budak Kekalutan for some reason or another. Also a really nice memory.
And after 5 years of spending time together, there was Budak Pitt. My section mates. They are some of the best people I've met. We've fought each other, we've fought together, we've cried and we've laughed and it would always be a memory I would treasure.
One thing I need to mention is that somehow whenever I move on to another stage of life, most of the times I just drift off from the people who I was once so close to. As of right now, the only people I actively keep in contact with are Geng Pitt (+Sarah). I'm sort of a bad person, where you would be the person who would need to start the conversation or anything because I would not do so. If I do, then you should know that you are very special.
After high school there was Asasi. The people that I still keep in contact with (not including the people who are my classmates now) are these two people. I do treasure the friendship we have. Because they are usually the one to start the conversation and I feel so loved when they say that they miss me. I should really start texting them.
Now, in Degree. I have a person who I'm really clingy with. We're only in our second sem so I am slowly getting closer to all my classmates because there's not a lot of us. I am really learning how to be independent and not look too pathetic by doing things by myself.
Throughout all of this though, there was one person who was constantly there. She was with me since kindergarten up until now in uni. But somehow, we were never too clingy with each other. But she was always there and we are friends. We became closer in Asasi sem 2 because we were classmates. I am happy whenever I think about us hahaha omg that sounds super cheesy.
Best friends. It's nice to have them, and I know they're there but I just do not like to put a name on the friendship, as there would be sort of a burden behind it? Anyways, I do have them. And I treasure them so much even if I drifted apart from them, because they help me become who I am today too. Even if I do not contact them, know that I treasure all of our memories together.
Entry #6 Today's entry
Today (6th of March) has been an eventful day. First of all I had class at 10 and I had to send an email before the class. So I set my alarm at 8 and I did wake up at 8. I proceeded to think "5 more minutes" and fell asleep. Then I remember waking up and seeing my roommate's face and she was fully dressed so I knew I screwed up. I looked at my phone and it was 9:40. "Shit," I said.
So I texted my friend saying I am going to be late to class and turned on my laptop to send the email. The assignment I had to send was not even that complete but I couldn't think anymore so I just decided to send it. Only to have the email blocked. I tried all my different email but it was still blocked. So I panicked a little bit and texted my friend. Then I tried changing the subject of my email and Alhamdulillah, it was sent successfully. And that already took like 20 minutes.
So I went to take a shower and while I was in the toilet I could hear a man's voice shouting out warnings saying that he was around my floor. Great. Thankfully, by the time I finished showering he was already in the room that needed fixing so I could walk to my room in peace. I got ready, and it was already 10:30.
I got into class and it was okay. I am so thankful that all our lecturers are chill with us coming a bit late to class. Well, because at least you're coming to class right? Anyways, we finished class and I ate lunch with my classmates. I had to draw money as I am broke so I went ahead to KPS alone because I didn't want to drag anyone with me. On my way there I stumbled into the Pengarah for my college project and he greeted me and I said hi. It was a nice exchange.
I reached the ATM in KPS only for the machine to say that it was unable to dispense cash. THEN OF WHAT USE DO YOU HAVE FOR ME MACHINE?! Ahem, so yeah, no money for Fatin today.
I was thinking of drawing money from the ATM at my faculty but it would charge a bit extra, and I was lazy. So I reached the bus stop and decided if my bus comes I'll just go back to college and it did come. I got on it and luckily had a seat. And then this person who I might just have a little bit of a crush on also got on the bus. He didn't see me though so I didn't manage to wave at him. We got off at the same stop (because we were in the same college) and he went down right before me so I was walking behind him. It was... interesting. I found myself smiling because of the thought of telling my friend about it was really funny.
I got back to my room, relaxed for a while and then went to my next class. The lecturer then asked for a wire which I brought and apparently no one else had. So I went down and gave it to the lecturer and it was a nice feeling. The fact that my friends clapped for me made me feel even happier, like I was a hero kind of feeling hahaha.
So we finished class, went to eat (where I borrowed my friend's money) and went back to our rooms. And here I am. I procrastinated like crazy from 7 to 10 I just watched YouTube videos. But I did finish an assignment and wrote all these posts.
That's what happened today. OH! Monsta X revealed their comeback date and also the instruction manual and I am losing my chill. Man I can't wait! I miss them so much!
So I texted my friend saying I am going to be late to class and turned on my laptop to send the email. The assignment I had to send was not even that complete but I couldn't think anymore so I just decided to send it. Only to have the email blocked. I tried all my different email but it was still blocked. So I panicked a little bit and texted my friend. Then I tried changing the subject of my email and Alhamdulillah, it was sent successfully. And that already took like 20 minutes.
So I went to take a shower and while I was in the toilet I could hear a man's voice shouting out warnings saying that he was around my floor. Great. Thankfully, by the time I finished showering he was already in the room that needed fixing so I could walk to my room in peace. I got ready, and it was already 10:30.
I got into class and it was okay. I am so thankful that all our lecturers are chill with us coming a bit late to class. Well, because at least you're coming to class right? Anyways, we finished class and I ate lunch with my classmates. I had to draw money as I am broke so I went ahead to KPS alone because I didn't want to drag anyone with me. On my way there I stumbled into the Pengarah for my college project and he greeted me and I said hi. It was a nice exchange.
I reached the ATM in KPS only for the machine to say that it was unable to dispense cash. THEN OF WHAT USE DO YOU HAVE FOR ME MACHINE?! Ahem, so yeah, no money for Fatin today.
I was thinking of drawing money from the ATM at my faculty but it would charge a bit extra, and I was lazy. So I reached the bus stop and decided if my bus comes I'll just go back to college and it did come. I got on it and luckily had a seat. And then this person who I might just have a little bit of a crush on also got on the bus. He didn't see me though so I didn't manage to wave at him. We got off at the same stop (because we were in the same college) and he went down right before me so I was walking behind him. It was... interesting. I found myself smiling because of the thought of telling my friend about it was really funny.
I got back to my room, relaxed for a while and then went to my next class. The lecturer then asked for a wire which I brought and apparently no one else had. So I went down and gave it to the lecturer and it was a nice feeling. The fact that my friends clapped for me made me feel even happier, like I was a hero kind of feeling hahaha.
So we finished class, went to eat (where I borrowed my friend's money) and went back to our rooms. And here I am. I procrastinated like crazy from 7 to 10 I just watched YouTube videos. But I did finish an assignment and wrote all these posts.
That's what happened today. OH! Monsta X revealed their comeback date and also the instruction manual and I am losing my chill. Man I can't wait! I miss them so much!
Entry #5 Love
So today's prompt is my definition of love. Wow this is a really difficult one for me. As I mentioned before in the post on first love, love is such a general concept. There are so many different kinds of love and I have experienced some of them.
Love is basically, a really strong feeling of liking someone or something. For me, I don't say things that I don't mean, so I don't really say out loud that I love someone or something so easily. So if I do say I love someone or something, you can be sure that I really do mean it.
Which might be the reason why I dislike the concept of couple. And I mean "couple" as in the Malaysian term for it. Couple means that two people are in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and when they let it be known to public it means they have declared that they are a couple. It might just be my pessimistic heart but from my experiences seeing friends couple, it usually never lasts. It's even hilarious at times, like you see them being super sweet and couply but then next week suddenly they already broke up. Sometimes I feel evil and thought of just being all in their face and be like "Oh but didn't you say you loooveee him so much? Did you guys not buy matching item and promised to stay together forever? Whatever happened to that huhhh~?"
I'm sorry but I am evil. Maybe it's because I can usually tell whether the couple are really into each other or they are just in a relationship because of other things such as popularity or insecurity or peer pressure or whatever. I always scoff whenever people say this or that couple are so sweet look what the bf did for the gf or anything because really, will they really stay together? Imagine looking back on the sweet gestures when they already broke up. Did the gestures mean nothing? Did you guys ever really loved each other?
Anyways I am ranting a lot suddenly. Maybe it's because I get so frustrated seeing people being delusional on the perfect relationships. Nowadays especially with social medias everyone be like I wanna show the world how perfect our relationship is and make everyone jealous of us. Like, I question the sincerity in every social media posts.
So yeah, I do not like couples and I do not believe in couples and I will never couple until I am sure that I would want to marry the guy. I can't really say anything on relationships and love because while I have a lot of crushes I have never had a guy chasing after me. Maybe some of the girls are in a relationship because the guy chased after her and she felt "loved" so then they became a couple? Only for the guy to be a jerk and found someone prettier or anything and dump the girl. Okay I will stop being pessimistic now.
Despite all this, I do wish to fall in love. I do want to be loved, but I crave for depth and I am scared. I am actually scared of falling in love so badly only to have the person not feeling the same and have my heart broken. So I don't fall in love. At least not now. There's a lot of other things to worry about besides love anyway (like Monsta X's comeback on 21st March oh mY GOD)
Love is a wonderful thing, which is why I take good care of it.
*Fun fact - while I was writing this post Good Charlotte's I Don't Wanna Be In Love was playing XD
Love is basically, a really strong feeling of liking someone or something. For me, I don't say things that I don't mean, so I don't really say out loud that I love someone or something so easily. So if I do say I love someone or something, you can be sure that I really do mean it.
Which might be the reason why I dislike the concept of couple. And I mean "couple" as in the Malaysian term for it. Couple means that two people are in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and when they let it be known to public it means they have declared that they are a couple. It might just be my pessimistic heart but from my experiences seeing friends couple, it usually never lasts. It's even hilarious at times, like you see them being super sweet and couply but then next week suddenly they already broke up. Sometimes I feel evil and thought of just being all in their face and be like "Oh but didn't you say you loooveee him so much? Did you guys not buy matching item and promised to stay together forever? Whatever happened to that huhhh~?"
I'm sorry but I am evil. Maybe it's because I can usually tell whether the couple are really into each other or they are just in a relationship because of other things such as popularity or insecurity or peer pressure or whatever. I always scoff whenever people say this or that couple are so sweet look what the bf did for the gf or anything because really, will they really stay together? Imagine looking back on the sweet gestures when they already broke up. Did the gestures mean nothing? Did you guys ever really loved each other?
Anyways I am ranting a lot suddenly. Maybe it's because I get so frustrated seeing people being delusional on the perfect relationships. Nowadays especially with social medias everyone be like I wanna show the world how perfect our relationship is and make everyone jealous of us. Like, I question the sincerity in every social media posts.
So yeah, I do not like couples and I do not believe in couples and I will never couple until I am sure that I would want to marry the guy. I can't really say anything on relationships and love because while I have a lot of crushes I have never had a guy chasing after me. Maybe some of the girls are in a relationship because the guy chased after her and she felt "loved" so then they became a couple? Only for the guy to be a jerk and found someone prettier or anything and dump the girl. Okay I will stop being pessimistic now.
Despite all this, I do wish to fall in love. I do want to be loved, but I crave for depth and I am scared. I am actually scared of falling in love so badly only to have the person not feeling the same and have my heart broken. So I don't fall in love. At least not now. There's a lot of other things to worry about besides love anyway (like Monsta X's comeback on 21st March oh mY GOD)
Love is a wonderful thing, which is why I take good care of it.
*Fun fact - while I was writing this post Good Charlotte's I Don't Wanna Be In Love was playing XD
Entry #4 What I ate today
Technically this entry is supposed to be written on 4/3 but I don't really remember what I ate that day so I'll just talk about what I ate on 5/3 as I went out to eat.
For breakfast I woke up late and we had moi. Bubur. Rice porridge. My mom cooked it and it was delicious. The side dishes(?) that were served together were scrambled eggs, anchovies, cili kicap, and garlic goreng. I put a lot of garlic goreng in my porridge and the garlic taste lingered in my mouth for the whole day haha.
For lunch we went out to send my mom to her friend's house, pick up Andi, drop Paan at the kolej to make rayuan and go shopping. It was an eventful journey with quite a lot of screaming involved. At around 1 o'clock my dad said he was snappish because he was hungry. So with thoughtful planning we decided to drive-through McD and go shopping, and after shopping we would have a heavy late lunch.
So I had McD for an early lunch. We shared nuggets and one spicy McChicken burger between the 5 of us. It was only for lapit perut so it was okay. Besides, sharing makes it more delicious.
Then we went shopping and had to choose where to eat. In the end we decided to go to Texas Chicken, more fast food!I ordered the Chipotle burger and it was delicious.
After that we went back home and waited for mom before going out for dinner at a mamak restaurant. I had maggi goreng and it was delicious. I described all the food as delicious didn't I? Oh well, delicious is how I can best describe it hahaha.
I like eating, but I am also very picky. For the things that I do love, I can eat a lot of it. But if I don't like it, then I would have a difficult time finishing it.
Something I noticed recently is that some of my friends really like to go out and eat. And I mean like going out to eat at restaurants and cafes etc. That's okay, but most of the places they go to are pretty expensive. Some of them even make it like an obligation to the point where they would need to go out at least once a week. Being the broke student and the lazy-ass I am, I do not understand this feeling. You people should not complain about not getting money since you guys are the ones spending it luxuriously.
I know most of them would say it's because they are bored of the same food and crave for outside food and also the taste were better. But for me, food is something like a supplement or fuel. I have to take it or else I'll probably die. So sometimes I don't even care whether it's delicious or not, as long as I like it and it's edible, I do not find the need to eat outside.
That's my little rant I guess, I really do like food, but only the ones I like.
For breakfast I woke up late and we had moi. Bubur. Rice porridge. My mom cooked it and it was delicious. The side dishes(?) that were served together were scrambled eggs, anchovies, cili kicap, and garlic goreng. I put a lot of garlic goreng in my porridge and the garlic taste lingered in my mouth for the whole day haha.
For lunch we went out to send my mom to her friend's house, pick up Andi, drop Paan at the kolej to make rayuan and go shopping. It was an eventful journey with quite a lot of screaming involved. At around 1 o'clock my dad said he was snappish because he was hungry. So with thoughtful planning we decided to drive-through McD and go shopping, and after shopping we would have a heavy late lunch.
So I had McD for an early lunch. We shared nuggets and one spicy McChicken burger between the 5 of us. It was only for lapit perut so it was okay. Besides, sharing makes it more delicious.
Then we went shopping and had to choose where to eat. In the end we decided to go to Texas Chicken, more fast food!I ordered the Chipotle burger and it was delicious.
After that we went back home and waited for mom before going out for dinner at a mamak restaurant. I had maggi goreng and it was delicious. I described all the food as delicious didn't I? Oh well, delicious is how I can best describe it hahaha.
I like eating, but I am also very picky. For the things that I do love, I can eat a lot of it. But if I don't like it, then I would have a difficult time finishing it.
Something I noticed recently is that some of my friends really like to go out and eat. And I mean like going out to eat at restaurants and cafes etc. That's okay, but most of the places they go to are pretty expensive. Some of them even make it like an obligation to the point where they would need to go out at least once a week. Being the broke student and the lazy-ass I am, I do not understand this feeling. You people should not complain about not getting money since you guys are the ones spending it luxuriously.
I know most of them would say it's because they are bored of the same food and crave for outside food and also the taste were better. But for me, food is something like a supplement or fuel. I have to take it or else I'll probably die. So sometimes I don't even care whether it's delicious or not, as long as I like it and it's edible, I do not find the need to eat outside.
That's my little rant I guess, I really do like food, but only the ones I like.
Entry #3 My Parents
So much for catching up on all these entries haha. It's okay Fatin, take your time. As long as you keep writing it's okay.
So, about my parents. I don't want to reveal too much because this is on the Internet and once it's here, it's here to stay forever. I love both my parents first and foremost. I am forever grateful for them even if sometimes I act otherwise.
My dad married my mom when he was 39 years old and she was 29 years old. Yes, my dad married quite late and they have a 10-year gap between them. But really, it didn't matter at all, as they both had mutual respect for each other. My uncle once joked to my brother saying that he should not marry so late like my dad. And then my brother made a really nice comeback to that saying "Kalau dapat yang macam Mama takpa la" BOOM *drops mic*
Everyone from the big family knows how dependent my dad is on my mom. Everyone would be like "What would Ayah do without Mama? Macam ayam berak kapuq" or something like that. It's just how it is because my mom is just super reliable and my dad is laid back so he just naturally let my mom plan and do everything as she is so reliable.
They always bicker though. Like seriously, after how many years of being together they still bicker on the same issues. As I am biased towards my mom, I would say it's because my dad would never change even when my mom kept on nagging him. But then again, my mom could also just accept it as how my dad is. But no, she just have to nag every time. My siblings and I are usually the one listening to my mom complain and we'll be like "Yes mom. Oh Ayah kan, memang macam tu. Hmm tu la Ayah ni"
But sometimes the bickering get so heated to a point where I wonder how my mom could stand living with my dad. I mean, she married him right? Did she regret it? I did asked her once very subtly like how are you still with dad? What makes you not like, go separately? It was a really interesting discussion and my mom said that of course the main one would be agama. Because we have pegangan so we don't easily just follow our feelings.
And after thinking about it, I'm sure she does not regret ever marrying my dad. I mean, now she has all these wonderful children right? (Puji diri dulu~) Which would also be another reason not to separate, the children. Sure, there are times when they would bicker so badly but there are also moments where I feel like they are very sweet with each other. Wow, I am actually getting a bit teary-eyed.
All in all I am very grateful for my parents and they are the reason I am who I am today. I love you Mama and Ayah!!
So, about my parents. I don't want to reveal too much because this is on the Internet and once it's here, it's here to stay forever. I love both my parents first and foremost. I am forever grateful for them even if sometimes I act otherwise.
My dad married my mom when he was 39 years old and she was 29 years old. Yes, my dad married quite late and they have a 10-year gap between them. But really, it didn't matter at all, as they both had mutual respect for each other. My uncle once joked to my brother saying that he should not marry so late like my dad. And then my brother made a really nice comeback to that saying "Kalau dapat yang macam Mama takpa la" BOOM *drops mic*
Everyone from the big family knows how dependent my dad is on my mom. Everyone would be like "What would Ayah do without Mama? Macam ayam berak kapuq" or something like that. It's just how it is because my mom is just super reliable and my dad is laid back so he just naturally let my mom plan and do everything as she is so reliable.
They always bicker though. Like seriously, after how many years of being together they still bicker on the same issues. As I am biased towards my mom, I would say it's because my dad would never change even when my mom kept on nagging him. But then again, my mom could also just accept it as how my dad is. But no, she just have to nag every time. My siblings and I are usually the one listening to my mom complain and we'll be like "Yes mom. Oh Ayah kan, memang macam tu. Hmm tu la Ayah ni"
But sometimes the bickering get so heated to a point where I wonder how my mom could stand living with my dad. I mean, she married him right? Did she regret it? I did asked her once very subtly like how are you still with dad? What makes you not like, go separately? It was a really interesting discussion and my mom said that of course the main one would be agama. Because we have pegangan so we don't easily just follow our feelings.
And after thinking about it, I'm sure she does not regret ever marrying my dad. I mean, now she has all these wonderful children right? (Puji diri dulu~) Which would also be another reason not to separate, the children. Sure, there are times when they would bicker so badly but there are also moments where I feel like they are very sweet with each other. Wow, I am actually getting a bit teary-eyed.
All in all I am very grateful for my parents and they are the reason I am who I am today. I love you Mama and Ayah!!
Saturday, March 4
Entry #2 First love
First love. First loves always come with a nostalgic feeling to it doesn't it? Well I do not have that.
I mean, what do you call a first love? The first person you fell in love with? I have never fell in love with anyone romantically as of now. I do like people and I have TONS of crushes but I know all these feelings are only fleeting and they don't last long anyway. I've liked a number of people, like seriously you can't even imagine how gedik I feel. But I know that I just like these people.
I don't fall in love with them and so that's that. I'm talking about romantic loves okay so obviously the people I've liked are guys (I'm straight). So most of the time I just like these guys from afar and they would never know about it. I would like to think I'm not obvious so yeah they probably would never know I like them.
But love is such a general concept. There's a lot of love in this world so I'll write about my different kinds of first loves.
I think obviously, there's the love for your family. I think my first love from my family would be my ayah. I was a 100% daddy's girl when I was a kid. I love both my mom and dad equally now but because my mom was a bit strict when I was a kid so I was a bit distant with her. And my dad loves to coddle me so that's that. For my siblings I think I fell in love with all of them around the same time hahaha.
For friends, I think the first love would be my cousin. I mean technically she's my cousin's daughter but she's older than me so just to make things easier when people ask how we're related we just said cousins when she was actually my anak buah I guess? Yeah, I spent quite a large portion of my childhood with her and her little brother and we were really close back then and it was a great memory. It's in past tense because we're not as close now. We kinda got distant in high school and we just... drifted apart. It's kinda sad whenever I think about it too much but it's okay because people grow up and sometimes it just happens. And it's not like I can't meet her or anything we always meet during Raya anyway. So I do have the nostalgic feeling when I remember how we used to be really close.
Okay fine I'll give a bit of a story about first love for a guy. I guess he is kind of a first love? Because we met in primary school and we were friends and we met again during Asasi. He did keep in contact when we met in Asasi so yeah. And he added me on fb so sometimes I see his posts so like, he's the only one from my crushes that I still have a connection with. All the other crushes don't even know I exist (as I only watched from afar anyways hahaha) But I don't consider him my crush though. He's a friend. A crush is someone I like from afar and never confess to lol. He's the closest to a first love because we met when we were kids and my parents know him and would sometimes bring him up as I liked to talk about him back then I guess. I don't remember any of this actually haha.
Ah I can't forget the most important love. Fangirl love! My first anime loves (in plural, because I can't just choose one) are Yamato from Digimon, Yugi from Yugioh, Tala from Beyblade, and I guess Sasuke? Or maybe Sasori or Deidara from Naruto. Yeap I have tons of anime crushes. Cause they're the best! For celebrities... I don't remember. Ah! Maybe Reid from Criminal Minds. I remember not really understanding the show because I was still a kid but I already liked him by then.
So yeah, these are my first loves. I am not even sure what this is all about hahaha I bet it wasn't what you expected wasn't it? When I do fall in love with someone, for real, romantically, I'll write about it. I would probably get married to him anyway (InshaAllah amin!)
I mean, what do you call a first love? The first person you fell in love with? I have never fell in love with anyone romantically as of now. I do like people and I have TONS of crushes but I know all these feelings are only fleeting and they don't last long anyway. I've liked a number of people, like seriously you can't even imagine how gedik I feel. But I know that I just like these people.
I don't fall in love with them and so that's that. I'm talking about romantic loves okay so obviously the people I've liked are guys (I'm straight). So most of the time I just like these guys from afar and they would never know about it. I would like to think I'm not obvious so yeah they probably would never know I like them.
But love is such a general concept. There's a lot of love in this world so I'll write about my different kinds of first loves.
I think obviously, there's the love for your family. I think my first love from my family would be my ayah. I was a 100% daddy's girl when I was a kid. I love both my mom and dad equally now but because my mom was a bit strict when I was a kid so I was a bit distant with her. And my dad loves to coddle me so that's that. For my siblings I think I fell in love with all of them around the same time hahaha.
For friends, I think the first love would be my cousin. I mean technically she's my cousin's daughter but she's older than me so just to make things easier when people ask how we're related we just said cousins when she was actually my anak buah I guess? Yeah, I spent quite a large portion of my childhood with her and her little brother and we were really close back then and it was a great memory. It's in past tense because we're not as close now. We kinda got distant in high school and we just... drifted apart. It's kinda sad whenever I think about it too much but it's okay because people grow up and sometimes it just happens. And it's not like I can't meet her or anything we always meet during Raya anyway. So I do have the nostalgic feeling when I remember how we used to be really close.
Okay fine I'll give a bit of a story about first love for a guy. I guess he is kind of a first love? Because we met in primary school and we were friends and we met again during Asasi. He did keep in contact when we met in Asasi so yeah. And he added me on fb so sometimes I see his posts so like, he's the only one from my crushes that I still have a connection with. All the other crushes don't even know I exist (as I only watched from afar anyways hahaha) But I don't consider him my crush though. He's a friend. A crush is someone I like from afar and never confess to lol. He's the closest to a first love because we met when we were kids and my parents know him and would sometimes bring him up as I liked to talk about him back then I guess. I don't remember any of this actually haha.
Ah I can't forget the most important love. Fangirl love! My first anime loves (in plural, because I can't just choose one) are Yamato from Digimon, Yugi from Yugioh, Tala from Beyblade, and I guess Sasuke? Or maybe Sasori or Deidara from Naruto. Yeap I have tons of anime crushes. Cause they're the best! For celebrities... I don't remember. Ah! Maybe Reid from Criminal Minds. I remember not really understanding the show because I was still a kid but I already liked him by then.
So yeah, these are my first loves. I am not even sure what this is all about hahaha I bet it wasn't what you expected wasn't it? When I do fall in love with someone, for real, romantically, I'll write about it. I would probably get married to him anyway (InshaAllah amin!)
Entry #1 March marches on!
Hello I recently found a 30 day writing challenge on pinterest and it was the beginning of March so I thought why not take this challenge? The prompts are just simple things which are interesting so yeah I'm gonna do it.
But today is already the 4th of March...
Oh well never too late to start right? I'll just upload all 4 days today so I'll be back on track.
So the first one is introduce yourself. Well there's not much to know about me. My name is Fatin Amira, I am a Malaysian and I am from Kedah. The glorious state full of padi. I would like to say Kedah being surrounded by padi is just a myth but when I think back on it, my house is in a taman and in front of our playground there's literally a sawah padi. So yeah I guess it is true Kedah is surrounded by sawah padi.
I am currently a UM student, taking the TESL course. Do not ask me how I'm doing because I am struggling. Well, just like every other university student anyway. I am 19 years old for now as my birthday has not passed yet so technically I'm still 19. I am the youngest child in my family, no. 5 out of 5. Yes, I guess I can be a bit manja, but I'm definitely not spoiled in terms of getting stuffs that I want, because none of my siblings are really demanding on buying stuffs. We are not materialistic (acewah)
I do not have a twitter, no instagram no social media life basically. I only have a facebook which I rarely use and whatsapp (the only important thing you need these days anyway).
I like cats. I like food that I like. I like animes, mangas, and K-Pop. And I will say this clearly I'm only into K-POP and that means not K-DRAMAs. I do not watch k-dramas. The only one I've watched was My GF is a Gumiho and recently a short sitcom called Please Find Her but that was only because Hyungwon was in it (and he was pretty decent I guess).
My current bias group is Monsta X and I am patiently waiting for their comeback some time in March. Can't wait!!
What else is there to know about me? Well if we're talking about personality I can describe it in one word (sort of). My personality is INFJ. That's the only perfect description that I can say or else it will be a super long-ass post.
I do aspire to be a writer hence the reason for taking this 30 day challenge. I find it easier to write about my own thoughts rather than a story. But I do hope I get to write a good story one day. So this challenge is more to just train me to just write. I like writing. It's nice and comforting (acewah).
Let's look forward to this challenge! Fighting!
But today is already the 4th of March...
Oh well never too late to start right? I'll just upload all 4 days today so I'll be back on track.
So the first one is introduce yourself. Well there's not much to know about me. My name is Fatin Amira, I am a Malaysian and I am from Kedah. The glorious state full of padi. I would like to say Kedah being surrounded by padi is just a myth but when I think back on it, my house is in a taman and in front of our playground there's literally a sawah padi. So yeah I guess it is true Kedah is surrounded by sawah padi.
I am currently a UM student, taking the TESL course. Do not ask me how I'm doing because I am struggling. Well, just like every other university student anyway. I am 19 years old for now as my birthday has not passed yet so technically I'm still 19. I am the youngest child in my family, no. 5 out of 5. Yes, I guess I can be a bit manja, but I'm definitely not spoiled in terms of getting stuffs that I want, because none of my siblings are really demanding on buying stuffs. We are not materialistic (acewah)
I do not have a twitter, no instagram no social media life basically. I only have a facebook which I rarely use and whatsapp (the only important thing you need these days anyway).
I like cats. I like food that I like. I like animes, mangas, and K-Pop. And I will say this clearly I'm only into K-POP and that means not K-DRAMAs. I do not watch k-dramas. The only one I've watched was My GF is a Gumiho and recently a short sitcom called Please Find Her but that was only because Hyungwon was in it (and he was pretty decent I guess).
My current bias group is Monsta X and I am patiently waiting for their comeback some time in March. Can't wait!!
What else is there to know about me? Well if we're talking about personality I can describe it in one word (sort of). My personality is INFJ. That's the only perfect description that I can say or else it will be a super long-ass post.
I do aspire to be a writer hence the reason for taking this 30 day challenge. I find it easier to write about my own thoughts rather than a story. But I do hope I get to write a good story one day. So this challenge is more to just train me to just write. I like writing. It's nice and comforting (acewah).
Let's look forward to this challenge! Fighting!
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