Getting into the Phandom

Hello everyone, it's been a while eh? A lot of things happened such as me getting into university and all that stuff but today I'm just gonna write about getting into...

THE PHANDOM

Okay, first things first, what the hell is the Phandom? It is not a typo from the word fandom but it is actually a pun. The Phandom is what Dan and Phil's fanbase call themselves, as it combines both their names PHil + dAN = PHAN. Combine that with fandom and you get, The Phandom.

So who exactly are Dan and Phil? Grab a seat and some popcorn cos this is gonna take a while.

Dan and Phil are two British YouTubers. Wait, that's it, that didn't take long to explain...

Dan's channel is danisnotonfire and Phil's is AmazingPhil. Go check em out on YouTube and don't forget to subscribe! They have seperate channels but they sometimes make videos together too. They do have a combined channel which is DanAndPhilGAMES where they play games basically. They live together and are super awesome best friends.

The story of how I got into the phandom started on a random day at Uni. I was bored and was watching YouTube. And then at the side where there were recommended videos and related videos was a video titled "DAN AND PHIL JAPAN HAUL!"

The thumbnail was a picture of them and a lot of Japan-related items but the thing that got me clicking was Haru. There was a small picture of Haruka Nanase at one corner and I clicked the video. Of course, it wasn't just because Haru was there, I knew about YouTubers and I was pretty sure those guys might be some well-known YouTubers, which they were. And it was their Japan haul so that would be interesting. And it was. So that was the first video I've watched. That was where it all began. The rest of the story can be told by this quote from Dan :

"Fandoms are like drugs. You just need a little bit to get you hooked, and then a tiny bit more here and there when BAM suddenly your life is a train wreck."

I have my reasons to get hooked okay. First of all, of course, the thing everyone would say, my brother probably said it too, and it is so freaking annoying. But I will admit that there is a truth in it.

"You just like them cos they're good-looking/British/have an accent"

Yes, I will admit they are attractive and most definitely British. But I'm gonna quote Dan again, "I have a personality too!"

And that is exactly what makes them different. Their personalities are just so interesting.

You might wonder why I am mentioning both Dan and Phil and not just one of them. This is because they cannot be separated. You can't have Dan without Phil and vice-versa. They are a package. But they are both independent people and one does not simply compare them with each other.

Dan is someone who is super relatable. His videos are mostly talking about things that we can relate to and I wasn't surprised to find out he was an INFJ like me too. He is also very sarcastic and I love it. His is also very articulate which is really attractive. The thing he's known for is his existential crisis, which is something I really don't want to think about too deeply, because if I do then I'm gonna face an existential crisis too.

Phil is someone who you would fall in love with. He is just too precious. He is a cinnamon roll. I can't really say what exactly his videos are about but most of them are just him talking about interesting things that happened to him, or interesting stuffs he bought and he is just too adorable. He is also really kind and sometimes I can't even believe how kind he is.

Both of them are great individually, but when combined together they just have this awesome chemistry and all is right in the world. Whatever their relationship is, it is my relationship goals. It is amazing (pun intended) to see how they complete each other with their opposite personalities. I love how even their bed sheets show the difference of their personality, where Dan's is black and grey ("like his soul") and Phil's is a bright blue and green checkered pattern. I remember seeing this somewhere and it just perfectly described them. It goes something like this :

Dan is the pen
Phil is the highlighter
Dan drew the world
Phil made it brighter
Together
They make the perfect picture

They are just too awesome and I am so glad I watched that first video of them. They even made a book and it has been published quite recently and I am dying to buy it. Unfortunately, right now I think it's only available at Kinokuniya and it costs around RM 100. So it might be a while until I get my hands on it. It's gonna be hard to avoid spoilers but everyone in the phandom are so nice they always give a warning first saying "TABINOF spoilers!" TABINOF is short for The Amazing Book is Not on Fire, which is the title of their book btw.

So yeah, I am kinda deep in the phandom now and I regret nothing.

Read this

Anime.

Did that just made you wanted to skip this post? Did you lost interest in reading this? Do take some time to read this. It is very informative and not just any normal rant.

So, why would you just skip a post when you see that it is about an anime? If you're not interested in it, then I understand. But somehow, whenever I mention that I enjoy watching anime, or I fill my free time by watching anime, there is this kind of reaction that people give.

Keep in mind that this is just based on my experience. Most people when asked what is anime, would probably answer Japanese cartoon. And that is not exactly a wrong answer. However, when you say cartoon, shows like Spongebob Squarepants, Dora the Explorer or Boboiboy comes to mind. And you generally think that cartoons are mainly for kids. Which in turn makes you think that anime is for kids.

And that is why, when I say I enjoy watching anime, people will look at me a bit differently, maybe because they think that anime is for kids. They might think that makes me immature, because I like watching kid's cartoon.

WRONG

(WARNING!! This post contains graphic images only for mature audience. If you have a weak stomach you might want to be prepared)

Anime is basically shortened from the word Animation. You can't say animation is for kids. What about Happy Tree Friends? They're basically animations too, and all the characters are cute fluffy animals, surely it's for kids right? Haha, jokes on you cos this is what happy Tree Friends is all about.

This is pretty gory even I'm revolted... Ugghh

What I'm trying to say is, anime is not a specific genre. It's a thing. An animation. You can make animation into anything you want.

Sure, there are stuffs that are for kids, like Sailormoon, Pokemon, or Digimon. (ahhh so nostalgic~)

Yamato was one of my first anime crush. Third one from the right ;D

I've never watched Sailormoon sooo...

If you don't know what this is your childhood sucks. Or you were just unlucky and didn't have any way to watch TV or didn't have any friends that talked about this, for which I apologize. You poor soul...

These shows are great for kids, as it shows that friends can come in all shape and sizes, friendship is the most important thing and anything can be done when you work together. Sure, you might say these are not how things work in real life but do you really want a kid to know the cold hard truth at such a young age? Childhood is supposed to be filled with happy things.

Back on topic, anime is not just for kids. It can convey a lot of message and really makes you think outside of the box. It can even screw your mind mentally. Tokyo Ghoul is one of it. I haven't watched it, even though it is really famous. I'll show you why.

Summary - The suspense horror/dark fantasy story is set in Tokyo, which is haunted by mysterious "ghouls" who are devouring humans. People are gripped by the fear of these ghouls whose identities are masked in mystery. An ordinary college student named Kaneki encounters Rize, a girl who is an avid reader like him, at the café he frequents. Little does he realize that his fate will change overnight.

Sounds interesting right? Here's the comments

Did I mention that anime fans can be pretty good english writers? They can argue on the net for days too...

And because of the comments above I did not dare to watch it. Call me a coward but I do not want to mentally scar myself. Code Geass is a roller coaster ride for me already (which I will write about after this)

But hey, anime can be happy and humorous too. Just find the right one. Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun is the one I watched recently and it was hilarious. Working!!! (yes, that is the title) is also a funny one.

If you want to have a good cry, we have that too! Don't you dare say fictional characters can't make you cry. If you can't cry over a fictional character then you suck~ just kidding! But seriously, if anyone watched AnoHana or Angel Beats and say they didn't feel a thing then they need to go to therapy.

Still thinking that anime is for kids? Go watch Attack on Titan. Go watch Mirai Nikki. Go watch Another. Go watch Tokyo Ghoul. Do you even know the plot of Death Note besides writing someone's name in the notebook and that person will die? Do you know what the owner of the book did?

Okay, so that's about it. I just really wanted to let it out.

I don't care if you don't like anime. Just don't say it's for kids and look down on people who do enjoy them.

TESL Interview a.k.a. Mini-nightmare

Hello there anyone who accidentally stumbled on this post as they were researching for the TESL interview. Greetings. I am about to share my experience on the interview, but keep in mind this is what I faced. And not everyone will face the same thing. This is mostly my thoughts and feelings on the interview. And let me tell you this, I have no idea how well or badly I did.

So before we get to the interview, we (the candidates) had to sit for a written test. There will be 15 reading comprehension questions, where they will give you a passage and it's a multiple choice question, which means you just have to choose A,B,C, or D. And then you have to write an essay about 250 words long (two pages) about whatever topic they gave you.

I already knew the reading comprehension questions would be difficult. And it was. But I somehow managed to understand the questions and hopefully I answered correctly. It was a bit like the NSW test but less about grammar. For the essay we had to write about how to cope with stress. Not a very hard topic, but I haven't wrote anything for months and even when I got all the points down, I stopped. How the hell do you write an intro for an essay again? I was lost for a few minutes. In the end I just wrote some weird ass intro and just continued with the weird ass essay. I did managed to finish it. Btw wear your wristwatch if you have one. There was no clock in the hall so I just had to rush as I didn't know how much time we had left.

After that, we had to go to our respective panels for the interview. I was in Panel 1 and I was lucky because Hannan and Bella were on the same panel. But, I don't know whether I'm lucky or unlucky, but I was the 4th candidate to go through the interview. I was actually no. 5 but a girl was absent so I was moved up. So, the interviewer explained briefly how the interview will be done and then immediately he called the first candidate to enter the room. Okay, did not expect that.

I was still calm at the time and chatted with my friends. And then time goes by and I was next. This is where all the butterflies come in. My hands and feet were shaking, partly due to being nervous, but also because I was hungry. Anyway, the girl before me exited so I stood up to get ready in front of the door. We had to wait till the bell ring only then we could enter. And when the bell rang, my heart dropped. I was not ready so I opened the door hurriedly and gave a soft greeting. Which was probably a bad first impression dammit.

I was just closing the door when he (yes, both the interviewers were male) asked me whether I was Fatin Amira, just to make sure. I answered yes and he asked me... okay you know what let's just make this in dialog form it'll be easier. Please note that these are only from what I remember and is not 100% accurate.

I    : So do we call you  Fatin or Amira?
Me: Fatin.
I    : Okay so Fatin have a seat. (after I gave all the documents)
I    : Okay we don't want to waste any time so please speak louder so that we can hear you.
M  : Okay.
I    : So Fatin, please introduce yourself.
M  : My name is Fati-
I    : Speak louder please.

*gulp* (relax man I was just getting there sheesh. This really made me extra nervous)

M:*introduces myself*
I  : What are your hobbies?
M: I like to read, but when there are no books to read I like to play games.
(this was the start of the bad idea. Why the hell would you say you like to play games? Just freaking say you love to read and that's it but nooo, you wanted to be different and say you like to play games. I even did the keyboard-typing sign with my hand)

I  : Games?Online games? But wouldn't you say it is a waste of time?
M: Not really, I usually have a time limit so... yeah I manage my time. (I was really nervous here and kept stuttering. What the heck, I stuttered through the whole interview)

I  : What do your parents do (or something like that)
M: My Dad-oops, sorry. My Father blablabla (I said Dad. DAD. I don't know if that was acceptable but it seemed pretty street-like language so yeah....)

I  : Earlier you said you were the youngest child. What are the disadvantages of being the last child?
M: *was semi-prepared for this* *still answered weirdly with a lot of aahhs uumms and yeahs*
I  : What about the advantages?
M:*also prepared* *answered better than before hopefully*

I  : So tell me about your strengths?
M:*so not prepared for this* *silence for a while and my eyes were on the ceiling as I tried to find my own strength. How sad*
M: *finally making up my mind* I can perform. (WHAT?! THIS WAS WHAT YOU DECIDED TO SAY?)
I  : Perform? Please explain
M: *tries so hard explain and mentioned that I could play the piano*
I  : You can play the piano? (He looked surprised, or maybe impressed? Yes!)

I  : Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
M: 10 years? Hopefully I would be working as a teacher. If not a teacher, then maybe a writer? Or a translator. (I know right? Not imaginative at all. I mean, I could have said that I surely won't be married yet)

I  : So, do you read the newspaper?
M: No, not really, not like, everyday. (tries to cover up that I really don't read the newspaper)
I  : What about the news on TV? Do you watch it?
M: *does not want to sound ignorant so I said sometimes*
I  : What are the current news that is happening blablabla basically asking about current issues
M: *only knows a little about GST, have no idea about anything else*
I  : So tell me about GST
(I told him whatever little knowledge that I know. I kept looking up as if trying to remember something which I was. I only read about GST the night before. I hope he didn't think I was memorizing my answer)

And then the other guy who was browsing through my certificates file started to ask questions too.

I  : So, I see that you spend a lot of time in band. Why don't you take music instead? Be a music teacher? Why did you choose TESL?
M: Because I am very interested in English. And I see music as a hobby and not something I want to pursue (wish my answer was this beautiful. It was in fact very rocky and I can only hope they get my point)
I  : Even music teachers are successful you know? (Hah! Take that people who think taking music won't get you any successful job. This was a UiTM lecturer speaking. He knows what he's saying)
M: I know, but I'm not interested in getting a career in music (again, wish my answer was this beautiful)

I  : *browses through the file. Saw the BSK. I think they giggled. Not cool man, I didn't know how else I should bring it* What is this Bintang Semangat Kedah? Can you explain?
M: *explains how all our band member receive the medal as we performed internationally. Says we went to Nanchang and won best performance, when we were the only high school band performing*
I  : Yes, so why don't you take music?
M: NO. I want to take English. I play the marimba, and it is not as well-known as clarinet or saxophone, so I think the chances are not as high as a clarinet or saxophone player (again! I wish my answer was this beautiful. But I hope they got my point. I REALLY want TESL)

I  : *concludes the interview* Is there any question?
M: What do you look for in a TESL student? (I prepared this question for a while cos I think it would made me look different hah!)
I  : What do you think we look for?
M: Confidence?
I  : See, you answered your own question. (What the... you tricked me! But he smiled anyway. He made a counting sign with his hand meaning I had to guess even more) What else?
M: Umm.. outgoing?
I  : Yes, you will be involved in many activities so you have to be outgoing (or something like that)
(waits for me to answer again)
M: I don't know that's why I'm asking. (I was getting back at him because he said I answered my own question)
I  : What we look for is an all-rounder. (I nod but he explained anyway) All-rounder meaning you could be involved in games, or in a band *gestures to my certificate file*
M: Okay. *bright smile*

(We both stared at each other. Feeling awkward I just decided to nod meaning I understood.)

And that was it. After an awkward thank you, I took back my files, added even more awkward thank yous, and exited the room. I wanted to say something but I was too nervous and wanted to get out ASAP so  just exited.

So the conclusion? I have no idea if I did well or horribly. The first few questions were answered really badly, and I umm a lot. I somehow did not expect them to ask me all those generally asked questions like "Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?" or "What are your strengths?". So I answered pretty badly.But I think it went better towards the end so I hope it was good. The only hope that I could get was from that all-rounder comment because he gestured to my files so he somehow meant someone like me? I sure hope so. I can only pray for the best.

Why I Love Kuroko no Basuke

I know our SPM results just came out and all but I'm just gonna troll you guys and write about Kuroko no Basuke so there!

(Alhamdulillah, my results were awesome. Really did not expect it, syukur Alhamdulillah..)

Okay, so I'm going to try and explain why I think Kuroko no Basuke is super awesome. Remember, these are only my opinions. I will try and keep it as professional as I can. WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Kuroko no Basuke / Kuroko no Basket / Kuroko's Basketball

The Plot:

Kuroko no Basuke (KnB for short, I'm lazy) is about Kuroko Tetsuya, a 16-year old high school freshmen who was a member of Teikou Middle School's Basketball team. His former teammates were all prodigies and was called the Generation of Miracles (or Kiseki no Sedai in Japanese). He was the Phantom Sixth Man of the team as he was not really known and had a really low presence.

All of them decided to go to different high schools (because Akashi decided it will be more fun that way) and this is the story about Kuroko going to Seirin High and meeting Kagami Taiga. Kagami Taiga attended middle school in America and learned basketball there. Both of them joined Seirin's basketball club and the adventure begins.

Apparently, Kagami wanted to play basketball against strong opponents (at first he thought Japanese basketball were all the same and lame) and heard about the GoM (Generation of Miracles). He became excited and wanted to go against them. Kuroko approved of this as he saw potential in Kagami and so he also decided support Kagami and become the 'shadow' to Kagami's 'light'.

TL:DR - Basically it's about Kuroko and Kagami's adventure to defeat the GoM.

What makes it so amazing that even people who are not interested in basketball will enjoy is the sportsmanship, I think.

It is a sport anime, which basically means "No one died but I'm crying"

You can really relate to the all the diverse characters and love/hate them like crazy.

I'm pretty sure everyone had a moment where they were defeated by the people with natural talent. Sometimes you just work so hard and still, you failed. And then you realized the person who succeeded didn't even do his best and still he succeeded because he was just that talented.

For example, Himuro Tatsuya. He was Kagami's older brother figure and he was the one that taught Kagami basketball. As time passed, Kagami just got better and he didn't want to lose to his younger brother. 

Himuro was on the Yosen team with Murasakibara Atsushi, a GoM member. Yosen faced Seirin in the Winter Cup and Himuro was defeated. Around the last minutes of the game, Kagami got into 'The Zone' and was unstoppable. Murasakibara decided he didn't want to play anymore as they were losing. Mad with rage, Himuro punched him and even cried.

Imagine his anger. He was so desperate to win the game against Taiga, even when he knew he had no chance as he was just 'as good as a normal person can be' and not a prodigy. But Murasakibara, who was a prodigy and was just so damn talented decided to just throw the game away?

"You have what I desperately want, and yet you're throwing the game? It's making me crazy with rage..."

In the end Murasakibara continued the game and even got into 'The Zone' but they were still defeated. He said he wanted to quit basketball because it was annoying but no one believed him and he even cried.

Murasakibara also brings an interesting question which is related to the real world. Does hard work beat natural talents?

You can argue that hard work will pay off in the end, but not all the time. Sometimes no matter how hard you work you just can't beat natural talents. Of course, Kuroko taught us that hard work will pay off in the end in the Yosen match, but sometimes it doesn't like in the 1st Touou match where they went against Aomine.

Aomine is more of a "Poor him" character than a "I can relate to him" character.

He truly loves playing basketball, and was really good in it. He always gave it his all in the games but then people just gave up when they went against him. You can't enjoy a game where your opponent just stands there and let you do whatever you want. And so he gave up too. He knew he was too good so he just decided to become lazy and not play seriously all the time. All he wanted was a person who was on par with him where he could just play as hard as he could. 

Thankfully, he found Kagami (or AoKise shipper would say he found Kise first) and after he was defeated by Kagami and Kuroko he sort of snapped out of it and became our favourite basketball-idiot.

Then, there's the case of the GoM being the biggest jerks on Earth.

Arggh just thinking about it makes me mad. Okay, so this is the biggest spoiler ever so WARNING! 

Kuroko had this best friend in elementary school named Ogiwara and they played basketball together. They made a promise with each other that they will have a good match in the future with their respective teams. When the match came the GoMs were all already crazy and Kuroko was injured so he couldn't participate in the match. So he begged Akashi to play a good game and not hold back (because when you love basketball so much you don't want people taking you lightly and holding back and it makes you work even harder to win).

But Akashi at the time was already broken and psycho. If I'm not mistaken it was Ogiwara, who had a free shot but he missed. Murasakibara caught the ball and said "We gave you a chance but you missed? Looks like I'll do it" and he shoot the ball into their own hoop, which gave Ogiwara's team 1 point. And then the buzzer sounded which means the end of the game and everyone was shocked when they saw the scoreboard.

111-11

It was all planned by Akashi. Which was why Murasakibara scored an own goal, just to make it that score. It made Ogiwara's team feel like "Everything we did was what they expected? The goals we scored were the ones they allowed us to?"

Seriously, it was so mean, rude, basically EVIL. Kuroko cried like crazy when he found out Akashi planned it. It broke my heart seeing Kuroko cry and I'm sure everyone wanted to kill Akashi then (which was weird how he got a high ranking in the character votes. Must be the pretty face).

Anyway, whenever I see or hear 111-11 my heart just sort of clenches. 

This post was supposed to be about why I like KnB not a rundown of the plot, okay, sorry, got carried away.

Maybe I should just make a list.

1. The characters

Most of the characters are well-developed and as I mentioned before, you can relate to them. And there's also a lot of antagonist-killer, aka backstory. Seriously, backstories can even make Maleficient a good person. You might hate Akashi now, but by the end of the series you'll cry and say "Akashi you poor baby lemme give you a hug!" (Hanamiya doesn't have any backstory defending the way he is now, but I can't seem to hate him. I like him actually. Hmm.. must be his voice - Fukuyama Jun btw, so hot)

Also, I never knew basketball players were all good looking. Or that having coloured hair that matches your name makes you a prodigy. I don't mind cos I like this kind of stuff.

2. The matches

I've never watched a basketball match before and I have no idea about basketball besides the ball being very bouncy. However, I still can enjoy all the matches and as the show goes on you learn about all the rules and technical terms. Of course most of the matches end with 1 or 2 difference in scores but hey, they have to keep you on the edge of your seat till the end or else it'll be boring right? Combined with killer soundtracks, you really feel the excitement of the game. It's awesome.

3. The powers

Okay, most people argue that KnB has supernatural powers and was like Prince of Tennis. I've never watched Prince of Tennis but from what I've heard they could destroy a house with playing tennis so I'm guessing it's pretty crazy. But I don't think KnB is that crazy.

Kagami's jump are just powerful, Kuroko having low presence is fine and all his techniques are trick of the eye, Kise's copy is a bit far-fetched, Aomine is just awesome, being in 'The Zone' is a real thing, Midorima's threes I admit is supernatural, Murasakibara is just strong, Akashi's eyes are exaggerated but Ankle-Breaking is possible. 

Midorima's threes are the really crazy stuff. But somehow, the crazy stuffs are sometimes explained and you sort of get it,you know. Like Kise's Perfect Copy, how they explained the way Kise uses more power in his shooting arm to get the high arc Midorima makes, or how he lowers his min speed to create the same change of pace as Aomine.

Some of it is kinda unrealistic, but hey, it's an anime anyway people

4. The epic lines full of feels

I swear some of the lines in KnB are just so moving and motivational and sometimes just gives you all these feels. I'll list some of my favourites.

"The possibility is only 0% when all the players give up. I refuse to make it 0% myself" - Kuroko Tetsuya

"We don't protect each other because we're a team. We're a team because we protect each other" - Kiyoshi Teppei

"A team is not just something to be protected. A team also protects you" - Kiyoshi Teppei 

"There's no such thing as a useless effort" - Kagami Taiga

"No one that loves basketball is a bad guy" - Aomine Daiki

"A burden? No one on this team is a burden. I have confidence that everyone on this team has done all he can" - Midorima Shintarou

"I really want to play more basketball with these guys" - Takao Kazunari

"There's no shame in falling down. True shame is not getting up again" - Midorima Shintarou

There's so many more epic moments and lines but I can't remember anymore. So I guess that's it.

It's already late and I'm getting sleepy so I'll stop here. This post is actually more of a rant on KnB or a syok sendiri post HAH~!

Rain

He remembered the first time someone saved him. It was raining.

Takao was running away from home, from his drunken father. Ever since his mother died his father would always come home late and drunk. It was tolerable at first but after a while his father would look at him and see his mother in him and that’s when the beatings start. After putting up with it for almost a year, he couldn’t stand it anymore. And so he ran.

He didn’t know what to do and where he was going but he just kept running. When he felt he was far enough from his father, he stopped to catch his breath. Only then did he look at his surroundings. Apparently, he was at a street with rows of shop on his right. He didn’t recognize any of the shops so he knew he was very far from his home.

Suddenly, he felt something wet land on his cheeks. Looking up, he realized it was starting to rain. People started looking for shelter in the shops or opened up their umbrellas. The crowded street was suddenly empty, and he felt scared.

He had nowhere to go, he had no one to help him, and his father could easily find him and drag him back home. He felt like he was so alone in the world. Not knowing what to do, he sat down and leaned on the wall beside one of the shops. He brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them. The rain continued to fall.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, and how many strangers looked at him disapprovingly. Suddenly, the feeling of rain falling on him stopped. He looked up to see the cause of it and saw a bespectacled guy holding an umbrella over him. The guy was bending down so that he was on the same eye-level as Takao. He could see that the guy had really long eyelashes.

“What are you doing sitting down here getting soaked in the rain? Don’t you have anywhere to go?”

His voice was low with a hint of concern. Takao could only look away, and didn’t answer. The guy didn’t seem to mind and thrust the umbrella to him. Out of reflex, Takao took it.

“Take it, you seem to need it more than I do. My house is just around the corner anyway”

Takao could only watch in shock as the stranger walked away, rain soaking into his clothes immediately. He, on the other hand, still held the umbrella and was protected from the rain. He sat there for a while and wondered why the stranger gave him his umbrella. Numerous of people passed him by before but not one approached him and asked him if he was okay, much less offering their umbrella.

He was lost in his thoughts when a police officer came and asked him if he was running away from home. The officer saw the bruises on him and asked if he was abused. Having a ray of hope given to him by the stranger’s kindness, Takao told the officer about his father and pleaded the officer to help him.

Only years later would he realize that it was the very same stranger that reported to the police about a teenager with bruises sitting in the rain on the streets.

He remembered the first time he saw him cry. It was raining then, too.

Takao was happily living his life, after being adopted into a caring family that always wanted a son and a little sister that always wanted an older brother. His real father was arrested and was doing his time. He never forgot the day that he ran away from home, the day that a stranger had, in his own way, saved him.

Imagine his surprise when he saw his savior on the first day of high school, during the registration for the basketball club. He approached the guy who he only realized had green hair and gave him a smile.

“Thanks for the umbrella back then, I still have it if you want it back”

The other simply pushed his glasses up and said “Oh, you were the one on the streets. Keep it. I have many more at home”

“We haven’t properly introduced each other yet right? I’m Takao Kazunari! Nice to meet you~” He held out his hand for a handshake.

“Midorima Shintarou” He grabbed Takao’s hand and shook it.

“Shintarou? Hmm… that’s too long. I know! I’ll call you Shin-chan~!”

And that was where their friendship started. They became good partners in the basketball team, facing strong teams left and right. They won all of the games and advanced to the prelims for the Interhigh. Shuutoku wasn’t called one of Tokyo’s Three Kings for nothing.

Unfortunately, that was where they faced Seirin and went through a lot of trouble with both Kuroko and Kagami. It was a close game, but in the end they lost. Everyone gave their all, but a loss was still a loss and tears were still shed. Everyone headed back to the locker room to change, except Midorima. Takao noticed he was missing and decided to find him after he was done changing.

He went out of the stadium. It was raining heavily, so he opened up his umbrella, which was also the same one that Midorima gave him years ago. He started to look for Midorima and found him leaning on a wall, his face skywards.

At first Takao thought it was the rain, but seeing the redness of his eyes, Takao knew he was crying. Seeing Midorima Shintarou, number one shooter, ace of Shuutoku, and most importantly his partner cry, Takao vowed to work even harder so that Midorima would never cry over a loss again.

He decided not to bother the shooter and gave him some privacy.

Heart's Desire

I am seriously not liking this phase of my life. This moment where I have to decide what I want to do in my life.

Seriously, every  time I think about the future my mind goes like 200km per hour and everything's so messed up and I just get a lil crazy and when I think too hard about it I even feel like crying.

My parents are very supportive and they said they didn't mind whatever it is that I want to do, but it's really hard you know. Dad says I can do a lot of things, (meaning my course, you know since I take the pure science stream) and he wants me to get into UM. No, scratch that. I have to get into UM. I don't mind him saying I need to get into UM cos you know what? I don't know what I want to do.

He did the research for me (because he's more excited for me to get into UM) and he gave me a recommendation. For Diploma, take the Management course. Because that's the only Diploma offered in UM that I could take, since I do not want to take anything that is heavily science-based. Even with the Diploma, I would already be qualified to become an Assistant Administrative Officer, whatever the hell that is.

With that Diploma, I can also get a Degree in UM more easily I guess because it was one of the requirements to continue Degree in UM. There are other options besides the Diploma, which is Matriks but I can only take science or accounts in Matriks and I do not intend to do either of that. With the Management Diploma, I could continue any Degree in UM that I want, it does not necessarily have to be Management, but if I suddenly do fall in love with it I can also continue in Management. Basically, this route is giving me a lot of options.

It is a good thing, I don't have any objections about it. I don't know about management, but I think I can work it out, and I can do other things for my Degree.

The situation right now is like this, my brothers are home right now. The eldest, Abang, is currently doing his Masters in Geology. The second brother/third child, Andi, is currently doing Degree in Engineering. And so whenever we talk about my future they also give their thoughts about it.

Abang is on track. He has always been interested in rocks since he was a kid. And so he took Geology and he seems to enjoy it. Career-wise, he might continue for a PhD and become a lecturer.

Andi is giving me a headache. He told me he also didn't know what to do after SPM and Dad suggested taking Engineering, and he said he was like "Oh, that kinda sounds interesting." And he told me that when Dad suggested anything to me (including the UM route above) I was like "Hmmmm.... yeah sounds ok." So he asked me if I was really okay with it.

Earlier too, we (begrudgingly) went to lunch with my Mak Tam. And of course The Golden Question was asked. I said I wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet. So they asked, Doctor? No way. Engineer? I accidently said Maybe but in reality, No. Culinary? I said No too.

So then Andi asks me "Then what do you want to do?"

That's the thing bro, I DON'T KNOW!!

Back to Andi though, he told my Dad that he doesn't really think that he'll be and Engineer at the end of the day. He said that he's more interested in Teaching or 'Tenaga Pengajar' or something somewhat. He said he might be either a lecturer or a high school teacher. Dad said he should be a lecturer cos he thinks it suits Andi more and something like "You don't want to discipline children,right?" and Andi just hums in response.

I don't know if Dad remembers but I do. Andi once said that he wanted to be a school teacher because he could educate children, help shape them up. And maybe I remembered it because it was a really honorable thing for him to want to do. If I'm not mistaken he had said he wanted to be a kindergarten teacher at one time too.

Back to his conversation with Dad, he said maybe he won't be an Engineer and Dad said "Just follow your heart's desire." And Andi's heart's desire is probably becoming a school teacher.

So what about me? What about my heart's desire? Should I also follow it too? What if my heart's desire is not a good thing? Will everyone not accept it?

My heart's desire... If I'm truly being honest, I want to have a relaxing life and enjoy it. I don't want to do anything that's hard and stressful. But you know what? This is just my immature thinking. Everyone wants to have a good life, but they grow up. They have faced hardships to have a good life. Me? I'm still thinking like a spoiled brat.

I do have something I feel like doing, but I'm not even sure I could call it my heart's desire. Maybe it's just something I want to do, like wanting to try a Macaron or Pavlova. It's not like tasting desserts all over the world is your heart's desire, right? It's just something interesting you might want to try.

So there is this thing. I want to write a story, either so sad it'll tug your heartstrings and make you bawl your eyes out, or so good in a way you feel like you're in the book. You feel like, "Yeah, I've been through this kind of things." If I'm gonna put  it in a cheesy way, I wanna inspire people through my stories.

I really enjoy good stories. Be it through books, animes, movies or TV shows. It could be real, it could be fiction.

But that's the thing though. I did say it once, "I'm kinda interested in writing. Like, stories." And Dad was all "Oh, creative  writing. Yeah, there's those stuffs too" and the conversation kind of strays and he never mentioned about it again. Even Andi who was listening didn't comment anything on it.

I did joke with Andi about it once. I was trying to tell Andi about Kuroko No Basket's plot but I was fangirling so much I kinda got it all jumbled up, and he said "You're a really good story-teller" full of sarcasm. And I replied with equal sarcasm "Yeah, I'm aiming to become a writer you know"

He must have thought I was joking, but I was actually kinda serious at that time. But after he said that, of course the insecure-me comes out. Do I really have the talents for this? Is my English even that good? Kakak is definitely a better writer, and better in English, she even speaks with an accent, okay?

So now I don't know what to do. And like the post before, about the Future Talk, being in culinary might be great too, but in desserts area. Pastry Chef. But Dad already said No. He said "Culinary? No, I don't want Adik to take that" So Andi asked why and he said it was like music, something he thought would be better left as a hobby. But I am kinda interested in it. Maybe it's because I think it won't be as hard as other things, and I won't be studying some crazy stuffs.

Of course, even if Dad says it's up to me what I want to do, he already mentioned that he does not want me to take Culinary. So even if I end up taking something, if he doesn't like me taking it, it still kinda sucks. If I'm really into it, then he won't mind in the end, but if I'm just half-assed about it, surely he wouldn't like it.

Bottom line is, I don't know what to do. And I'm so frustrated about it. Really. I want to ask someone for help, but who? In the end, it's gonna be my decision, and I'm the one that's gonna go through it. And nobody would know how I really am, what I really like, what I'm suited to do. The only one who should know all that is me.

That's the problem though, I don't really know myself. I'm full of insecurities and self-doubt. Because I'm not sure about what I want to do, I'm afraid of what people think about it. If I'm confident at what I do, people can throw rocks at me for all I care and I still would stick with it. But I'm not. I'll crumble at the slightest comment.

There's also the problem of my SPM results. I seriously can't even predict how my results will be like because I think I really did it with a loose screw. People are worried about their results, I'm worried too but I'm way more worried about what I'm going to do after that.

So that's what it is all about. I think this post was way too jumbled up and there's too much information but who cares. That's what my mind is like right now.




Another interesting thing, earlier when we had lunch with Mak Tam, she asked me what I am currently doing and I literally answered "Tak buat apa. Duduk kat rumah ja." Now that I think back on it, that answer probably left a bad impression. I should think of a better answer, something like "Going crazy thinking about the future" or "Finding out ways to download animes faster."

A Clingy Boy for 15 Years

A love story for 15 years,

All the letters that were sent, 

Proclaiming my love for you,

But there's no reply.

During the first year I was careless,

I wrote to you every single day,

On the second year I was even careless,

I didn't even realize my house was on fire,

The third year I was wiser,

But typing just wasn't the same as writing

By the fourth year I wrote a book,

Made by my love for you.

A love story for 15 years,

All the letters that were sent,

Proclaiming my love for you,

But there's still no reply.

Fans started coming by the fifth year,

But none of them could compare to you,

Sixth year was the time I got injured,

But even if my bone breaks I still wrote to you,

I was healthy as ever on the seventh year,

And wrote to you tirelessly,

I was still healthy by the eighth year,

And I still sent you my love.

A love story for 15 years,

All the letters that were sent,

Proclaiming my love for you,

But even so, there's still no reply.

When the ninth year came around,

I got into an accident,

My head hurt, and I didn't even remember my name,

All I remembered was that I love you...

The tenth and eleventh year went by,

Still no memories of anything,

Yet the letters never stop,

The twelfth and thirteenth year went by,

Still no memories of anything,

Yet my love never stop,

By the fourteenth year I was sure,

I still love you...

And then when it was the fifteenth year,

All the memories came back,

I remembered who I was,

And I remembered the one I loved,

You, who died 15 years ago... 

The love story continues on the sixteenth year,

All the letters were still sent,

Proclaiming my love for you,

Even when there was never a reply.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My spin on  YV2 Yuuma's "A Clingy Boy for 15 Years"

But this is pretty much crap compared to the song, seriously, watch it RIGHT NOW!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfzFecVAI88

Fangirling with Fanguerrilla

MUAHAHAHAHA Kuroko no Basuke Season 3 has STARTED!!

So, I would now turn on my crazy-fangirl mode like the one I stated last post.


[Crazy-fangirl mode : ON]


YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAA~!!!

I am currently downloading the first episode but I've downloaded the opening already. What a wonderful OP...

Of course, Himuro (Taniyama Kishou) is singing the opening for the fifth time, which is a good thing. His voice is SO DELICIOUS. Well, anyway I'm used to him singing the OP and it suits Kuroko no Basuke so why not?

Ok, on towards the OP.

It starts with the camera showing the Seirin team.

Then they showed Kaijou.

Kasamatsu looks so happy btw

After Kaijou was Shuutoku.

And then Rakuzan.

This is kinda the first time Rakuzan team was revealed in the anime and they look nice. Mibuchi kinda looks like Mikasa in the pic, Mayuzumi looks gloomy, and Akashi is just perfect.

Basically, they showed all the team that are in the semi-finals. Then the KuroBas logo comes up, and then they showed all the Seirin members going on with their lives. Kuroko walking down the streets, Kagami going out of his apartment while Alex sees him off, all the Seniors at the stadium with Riko speaking to someone on the phone, and Nigou being fed by Furihata and the other first-years. Just the basic stuffs. And then the fun starts.

First they showed Touou

And then my favorite part, Himuro! I mean, Yosen team!

Himuro and Murasakibara looks hot

These two teams were the ones that already lost to Seirin, which means they won't be playing anymore games sadly.

And then there was Fukuda Sogo, Haizaki's team. They're the ones to compete with Kaijou to decide which team moves on to the semi-finals with Seirin, Shuutoku and Rakuzan.

Haizaki is the one with the jersey No. 6, the one with the cornrows, ew.

Then, they showed young Kuroko wearing the Teikou jersey holding a basketball with the wind whipping around him. Then his uniform changed into Seirin. Yep, only his uniform changed, Kuroko didn't grow a bit.

The music then picks up and of course there was the almighty fist bump. Unfortunately it was too awesome I can't get a screenshot of it. Then they showed what we're about to see in this 3rd season. Looking forward to these!!

Seirin VS Kaijou

See that? Punky Funky Love by GRANDRODEO

Rakuzan VS Shuutoku

Sorry the pic is not very nice. That's Miyaji blocking Akashi btw

And of course Shuutoku's very own light and shadow.

Takao must be sooo happy to be able to pass to his Shin-chan like that

I can't wait to see that super pass and super shoot. Midotaka ftw! I mean, how can Midorima already prepares to shoot the ball, without the ball even being in his hands?? And then Takao will pass the ball to him juuussstt in time for him to shoot it? Crazy stuff, but I like it.

There's also Kaijou VS Fukuda Sogo, with Kise's Perfect Copy of the Generation of Miracles!

First you see Kise, and then suddenly he's Aomine.

Again Kise, and then suddenly he's Murasakibara.

 I hope the Perfect Copy in the anime is something like this. It's super cool this way. You can see it more clearly in the video, go watch it right now!!

Also, a bonus. More Kise! Kinda feels like Kise is everywhere in the OP...

Kise believes he can fly

Kise catching Kasamatsu's pass single-handedly. How awesome is that?!

And then it's back to Seirin VS Kaijou with Kise and Kagami dunking.

Another thing to look forward to in Season 3, Kuroko's Buzzer Beater!!

It's more dramatic in the video with the clock ticking down in the background

Which brings us to the end of the OP with the Seirin team and the usual 'The Basketball Which Kuroko Plays'

End. Of the Opening.

Took me a while to finish this and the first episode has finished downloading. SEASON 3, HERE I COME!!

Mainstream

I'm not sure when it started. When I was in primary school, I didn't really have a solid interest in anything in particular. But I guess I was into anime back then, cos I did watch a few of it.

The K-Pop Fever started when I was in Standard 6 (for me.) At that time I really did not like it. And I had a good reason why too, I met the wrong fangirls. You know, the type that just SQUEALS and keep saying "OPPA IS MINE!" and keep on trying to speak in Korean "THAT'S SO KYEOPTAA!!"

Basically, those fangirls gave K-Pop a bad first impression to me. And it didn't help when they just showed me pictures of their oppas being shirtless.

And then of course high school happened, and one day my sister showed me a Super Junior video. Guess which one it was? Yep, Sorry Sorry. Wow, feels like such a long time ago. Anyway, that was the starting point for me and then I got hooked. It wasn't that hard really, and during that time (2010) there wasn't too many k-pop fans. Okay, there was a lot, but none of the fans were crazy.

And then it happened. The tsunami of crazy fangirls. I'm not sure when it began, whether during EXO's debut, or even before that, but I noticed it after EXO debuted. Fangirls were craaazy. More of the "OPPA IS MINE" fangirls were born, all around Malaysia. How do I know this? Because there was an increase in K-pop artists doing concert in Malaysia.

Of course, more of my friends also became fans, some naturally, while some brutally. And I don't know why, but I started to lose interest in it. Sometimes my friends would ask me like "Hey, did you see their new MV??" and sometimes I would answer with an excited "YES" or "NO WAS IT GOOD?" but other times I would just say "No, I haven't. Not really interested to watch it, is it good?"

And then last year (or was it the year before?), my brother told me he had Bleach episodes until the end of the series. And I was like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO ME!!"
Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little. But I really wanted to watch it, cos I watched it before I got the K-Pop fever and it was like YEARS AGO so I really wanted to know what happened in the end.

And so, that was how I got back into anime. And I am currently still into it. I still watch K-pop, but I don't really search for any videos, unless I heard it was a good one, or when a group I still like makes a comeback.

Well, if you want to compare it, back then I had a file for K-pop, and it was separated into MVs, Live Performance, Fancam, Variety Show and Etc. I'm not sure how big the file was. I had ONE file for anime, and they weren't episodes, just random stuffs like openings, or funny moments.

Now, my Anime file is 97.4G and there are 33 anime series in it. That does not include random videos of anime which is 2.38G. And my K-Pop file? 5.68G.

Anyway, that's besides the point. What I'm trying to say is, I don't like it when too many people start to like what I like. I mean, of course it's great to have a friend to fangirl with, but when you don't want to fangirl with them, but they keep fangirling around you, it becomes annoying.

Or maybe I just rather be dead than be mainstream.

Future Talk

It's a new year. 2015. I will be turning 18. Which means I will also be starting University life.

And I have no freaking idea what I'm gonna do.

Right now I'm having the time of my life. Waking up late, staying up late, eating whenever I feel like it, watching anime all day long, basically sitting in front of the laptop 24/7. Ah, what a great life. And then comes the question ;

"Adik nak ambik course apa?"

And whenever it came up I always ran away. I would always just sigh and say "Hmm.. tengok la camna nanti.." Truthfully I'm just running away. But I can't keep running away, I'll have to think about this stuff real soon. I mean really, even when we had to choose either the pure science course or the non-pure science course during Form 4, I just chose the pure-science course because it seemed like I have more choices to pick for furthering my studies in University. Because I didn't know what I wanted to be at the time. And I still don't.

I mean, the course you choose will affect your career in the future right? Which is why we need to know what we want to be first, and then choose the course that will lead to it right? That's the problem, I don't know. I don't know what I want to do.

I definitely don't want to take Medic. I don't like being sick, I don't like sick people, I don't like medicine. Well, it's a start right? At least I'm sure of one thing I don't want to do. Accountant? My sister's already one and I'm still not really sure about what accountants do. I know there's a lot of different type of accountants but I'm not really interested in it.

What I enjoy doing? Whenever people ask me that I'll laugh. I enjoy watching anime, eating, sleeping, reading books, dancing like an idiot, and singing like a pondan. Basically, what all teenagers enjoy doing. I always laughed because I never think of doing all those stuff seriously, as in furthering my studies in it. For example, I could take arts and technology for anime, I could take culinary for eating (lol), or I could take TEKA (is this what it's called? You know, the course for performing arts or something) for dancing and singing. But I don't want to. I don't know, because I enjoy those things as a hobby, I don't want to take it seriously, you know? But there is a saying that goes "Pick a work that you enjoy, that way you won't have to work at all" which basically means if you enjoy your work then you won't feel pressured by it.

ARGH I'm so confused. Mom did suggested taking English. I was like, "English?" Mom said taking English means you could be a lecturer, or administrator or you could even become a translator and go places. I did consider it, and then the self-doubts began.

English.... well I do enjoy reading and writing in English (even more than in Malay, I'm sorry okay, it's just how I am). But am I good enough to take the English course? Would I enjoy it? And I know this is a bad way of thinking, but surely I will have a lot of, like, speaking tests right? Like Oral Test? I don't think I'm that good in speaking though. Writing is a completely different thing. When you speak you have to mind the pronunciations and stuff.

Also the other day, we went to visit my brother and had lunch together. He didn't ask me the typical "So Adik nak ambik course apa?" question. Instead, he asked me what I'm doing during my free time and without batting an eyelid I answered "Tengok anime" hehe. Then he said that I should learn to bake, and maybe I would enjoy it and start a small business. I dunno why, but I really liked him then. I mean, I always liked him anyway, and everyone else in my family of course, okay I'm starting to stray away form the point now. I felt like, he gave me a suggestion, and I really liked it. I did think about learning to bake during these holidays (it was in my to-do list). 

Baking sounds nice. I watched a lot of baking shows and it looked really nice and fun. And you get to eat your products in the end. That's awesome. A pastry chef sounds like a pretty nice job too, doesn't it? But like all the other stuffs I enjoy, I don't know about taking it seriously. And maybe because I do care about what people think of me, like, if I took Culinary (or anything else for that matter) what would the big family think of me? Big family means all my aunts, uncles and cousins. I don't really have any cousins that would be compared against me, but still, I don't like it if they felt like, "Oh, she could have taken something else, I didn't know she wanted to do those kind of stuffs"

I know, I know, what matters most now is what I want to do. People will run their mouths no matter what you do.

So, Fatin, what do you wanna do?