Today was such a looong day. The pure-science students just finished their exams yesterday. Naturally, a lot of people were absent today. I could've been one of them. And of course the teachers were upset and said that we haven't reach the target yet, we think we're so smart, but we couldn't even answer the simple questions in the exams, blablabla yadda yadda. We get it, really. We were so screwed up that we laughed after every exam cos we couldn't answer them. We know we're not ready.
But even so, we just finished our exams. Our brains are melting. We need some time to regenerate. Of course, next week is a school break, so we should come to school this week. That would have been the case if we were actually given a break.
Let me tell you what we're doing this school break. We're having a "Kem Ilmu". Sounds fancy eh? Of course, it is a really good program and we really need it. But here's the catch, the camp is 8-days long, non-stop. And we have to stay in the hostel. I mean, 8 days? In hostel? Band camps only last 4 days the most, and I even barely get through that. And those camps were physical. This is mental. By the time this is over I'll probably be a psycho.
Anyway, this camp is starting this Thursday, registration starts at 5. And it's gonna go on till next Thursday. So we're only gonna have Friday and Saturday to relax, that is, if we could. So, think about it for a minute. We faced the exams for almost three weeks and with not even a day of rest in between, we're gonna have this camp. Do you really think we're gonna be okay throughout the camp? And please, coming to school is not considered a break, even if the teachers aren't teaching. And the teachers are teaching, cos they want to finish the syllabus before the camp. That way we'll only be studying this camp. I know, most of us are complaining a lot, but I think that's normal. At least give us a leave on Thursday, cos we have to come by 5 o'clock anyway.
And of course, I know that we're the worst batch and so dumb compared to the past batches. And we're crazy and kinda immature too (we're just teenagers okay?). Seriously, who would laugh when they couldn't answer the exams? Who would laugh when the principal announced that our results were the worst compared to the past years? Apparently, we would, and we did. We were like "Oh really? Hahaha, wow." I think we laughed cos we saw it coming. Thanks for rubbing it in too, Pengetua. We know we're the worst, even our PMR results were too right? We are born in the cow year okay, you need to cucuk our hidung.
I think our batch are fine, and we'll do well, but why don't you give us some motivation instead of bringing us down? Some people might say " Then we'll prove them wrong by doing well!" but the thought is still there. That we're the worst. Honestly, I'm one of those people that don't care and laugh, but I still feel that we're viewed as the worst. I keep using that a lot, the worst, the worst!
Okay, so that's the end of my complain. I know myself and my mental capacity. I'll probably give myself a break. Say what you want, I know how to handle myself. If I don't do this, I probably won't be able to focus during the camp. So there.
Monday, September 8
Thursday, September 4
Nakama
I was always lonely. From when I was human, and even until I died and became a Hollow.
Lonely.
When I was human, I was the son of the school principal. No one approached me and the teachers were too afraid to scold me whenever I fell asleep in class, which is often. Some of you would say it's a blessing, but it was more of a curse. No one ever talked to me, so I never knew what it was like to have a friend.
Even at home, my father would be too busy with work and my mother would look at her gossip magazines more often than she would look at me. I am an only child, so there's no siblings to fight with. Pets? My mother's allergic to fur. I don't even know what it's like to have a company.
Lonely.
Then there was the accident that happened that took my life. The police wrote down the cause of death as blood loss, but it was more like death by loneliness. My parents weren't very sad about my death though. I guess they just sometimes forget that they have a son. Nature took its course and I ended up as a Hollow in Hueco Mundo. I was kinda confused at first, and asked some passing Hollow where I was. Just as I approached the guy, he suddenly collapsed and disintegrated. This happened for some time until I found out why it kept happening. My reiatsu was strong. So strong that any low-spirited Hollow will collapse within a mile radius. And so, I walked around by myself.
Lonely.
It was really quiet around Hueco Mundo. Well, what can you expect? There's no one around. One day I decided to sit down on the endless sand for a while. Then suddenly, I felt like talking to myself. It was a weird conversation. And then I was arguing with myself. Then the arguing side of me felt angrier and suddenly my soul felt like it was splitting in two. Tadaa~ Lilynette was born. She is also me, but somehow an alternate personality? She was born/made out of my loneliness. But at least I wasn't lonely anymore, not with the quick-tempered brat.
A company.
We made a good pair, Lilynette and I. We lived well. One day, a person came and was surprised to see the mountain of Hollows that died on their own, just because they were close to us. He looked strong. He didn't stumble even when he came close to us. He said he was looking for comrades. I asked him whether his comrades were strong. He told me to find out myself. I took the bait, because I had nothing to lose. And if this man was serious, then I'll have comrades too. Some people said the man was evil, but to me, he was my hope.
Hope for this loneliness.
I was introduced to the Espada. Apparently they were the strongest in Aizen's army. I'll admit it, they didn't look that strong but I could feel it. Their reiatsu. Strong and unwavering. And so, I climbed my way through the ranks, and ended up being Primera. Some people weren't happy about that *cough*Barragan*cough*. But my days were filled with random chaos and weird situations usually involving Gin. That fox-face. I didn't realize it, but this was what it felt like. To have people around you, a company, comrades. I wouldn't go so far as calling us friends, cos some of us hate each other's gut. But still, here I am, surrounded by strong comrades, working together albeit reluctantly.
I am not alone. Not anymore.
End.
Notes :
Lonely.
When I was human, I was the son of the school principal. No one approached me and the teachers were too afraid to scold me whenever I fell asleep in class, which is often. Some of you would say it's a blessing, but it was more of a curse. No one ever talked to me, so I never knew what it was like to have a friend.
Even at home, my father would be too busy with work and my mother would look at her gossip magazines more often than she would look at me. I am an only child, so there's no siblings to fight with. Pets? My mother's allergic to fur. I don't even know what it's like to have a company.
Lonely.
Then there was the accident that happened that took my life. The police wrote down the cause of death as blood loss, but it was more like death by loneliness. My parents weren't very sad about my death though. I guess they just sometimes forget that they have a son. Nature took its course and I ended up as a Hollow in Hueco Mundo. I was kinda confused at first, and asked some passing Hollow where I was. Just as I approached the guy, he suddenly collapsed and disintegrated. This happened for some time until I found out why it kept happening. My reiatsu was strong. So strong that any low-spirited Hollow will collapse within a mile radius. And so, I walked around by myself.
Lonely.
It was really quiet around Hueco Mundo. Well, what can you expect? There's no one around. One day I decided to sit down on the endless sand for a while. Then suddenly, I felt like talking to myself. It was a weird conversation. And then I was arguing with myself. Then the arguing side of me felt angrier and suddenly my soul felt like it was splitting in two. Tadaa~ Lilynette was born. She is also me, but somehow an alternate personality? She was born/made out of my loneliness. But at least I wasn't lonely anymore, not with the quick-tempered brat.
A company.
We made a good pair, Lilynette and I. We lived well. One day, a person came and was surprised to see the mountain of Hollows that died on their own, just because they were close to us. He looked strong. He didn't stumble even when he came close to us. He said he was looking for comrades. I asked him whether his comrades were strong. He told me to find out myself. I took the bait, because I had nothing to lose. And if this man was serious, then I'll have comrades too. Some people said the man was evil, but to me, he was my hope.
Hope for this loneliness.
I was introduced to the Espada. Apparently they were the strongest in Aizen's army. I'll admit it, they didn't look that strong but I could feel it. Their reiatsu. Strong and unwavering. And so, I climbed my way through the ranks, and ended up being Primera. Some people weren't happy about that *cough*Barragan*cough*. But my days were filled with random chaos and weird situations usually involving Gin. That fox-face. I didn't realize it, but this was what it felt like. To have people around you, a company, comrades. I wouldn't go so far as calling us friends, cos some of us hate each other's gut. But still, here I am, surrounded by strong comrades, working together albeit reluctantly.
I am not alone. Not anymore.
End.
Notes :
- When a person dies, he will turn into a soul and when any Shinigami (death god) cleanse them they will go to Soul Society, the good place where everyone usually goes after death. But then some unfortunate souls will turn into Hollows, and will go to Hueco Mundo, the bad place full of grey sand where it's eat or be eaten.
- Reiatsu - something like an aura , or spirit particle. Really strong reiatsu can kill anyone who is weak.
- Primera - First in Spanish.
- Nakama means comrades in Japanese.
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