Wings

There was a kid

He was a high school student

Friends, he had many

Grades, he was above average

He was a bright person

At least that's what his friends said

But then why

Did he suddenly

Decided to fly?

Surely he knew

That he had no wings

That he would surely fall

And fall down hard

When he jumped off

The school rooftop

It was because he believed

That he had wings

Wings that could support him

When he falls

Wings that would be there

When life gets hard

Wings that would heal him

When he's hurt

Can't you see?

Those wings

Were supposed to be his friends

But they weren't there

They were never there

When he was abused by his parents

When he got into an accident

Where were they?

That was why

In the end

He decided to gamble his life

To truly see if he had any wings

Cut Us Some Slack!

Today was such a looong day. The pure-science students just finished their exams yesterday. Naturally, a lot of people were absent today. I could've been one of them. And of course the teachers were upset and said that we haven't reach the target yet, we think we're so smart, but we couldn't even answer the simple questions in the exams, blablabla yadda yadda. We get it, really. We were so screwed up that we laughed after every exam cos we couldn't answer them. We know we're not ready.

But even so, we just finished our exams. Our brains are melting. We need some time to regenerate. Of course, next week is a school break, so we should come to school this week. That would have been the case if we were actually given a break. 

Let me tell you what we're doing this school break. We're having a "Kem Ilmu". Sounds fancy eh? Of course, it is a really good program and we really need it. But here's the catch, the camp is 8-days long, non-stop. And we have to stay in the hostel. I mean, 8 days? In hostel? Band camps only last 4 days the most, and I even barely get through that. And those camps were physical. This is mental. By the time this is over I'll probably be a psycho.

Anyway, this camp is starting this Thursday, registration starts at 5. And it's gonna go on till next Thursday. So we're only gonna have Friday and Saturday to relax, that is, if we could. So, think about it for a minute. We faced the exams for almost three weeks and with not even a day of rest in between, we're gonna have this camp. Do you really think we're gonna be okay throughout the camp? And please, coming to school is not considered a break, even if the teachers aren't teaching. And the teachers are teaching, cos they want to finish the syllabus before the camp. That way we'll only be studying this camp. I  know, most of us are complaining a lot, but I think that's normal. At least give us a leave on Thursday, cos we have to come by 5 o'clock anyway.

And of course, I know that we're the worst batch and so dumb compared to the past batches. And we're crazy and kinda immature too (we're just teenagers okay?). Seriously, who would laugh when they couldn't answer the exams? Who would laugh when the principal announced that our results were the worst compared to the past years? Apparently, we would, and we did. We were like "Oh really? Hahaha, wow." I think we laughed cos we saw it coming. Thanks for rubbing it in too, Pengetua. We know we're the worst, even our PMR results were too right?  We are born in the cow year okay, you need to cucuk our hidung.

I think our batch are fine, and we'll do well, but why don't you give us some motivation instead of bringing us down? Some people might say " Then we'll prove them wrong by doing well!" but the thought is still there. That we're the worst. Honestly, I'm one of those people that don't care and laugh, but I still feel that we're viewed as the worst. I keep using that a lot, the worst, the worst!

Okay, so that's the end of my complain. I know myself and my mental capacity. I'll probably give myself a break. Say what you want, I know how to handle myself. If I don't do this, I probably won't be able to focus during the camp. So there.

Nakama

I was always lonely. From when I was human, and even until I died and became a Hollow.

Lonely.

When I was human, I was the son of the school principal. No one approached me and the teachers were too afraid to scold me whenever I fell asleep in class, which is often. Some of you would say it's a blessing, but it was more of a curse. No one ever talked to me, so I never knew what it was like to have a friend.
Even at home, my father would be too busy with work and my mother would look at her gossip magazines more often than she would look at me. I am an only child, so there's no siblings to fight with. Pets? My mother's allergic to fur. I don't even know what it's like to have a company.

Lonely.

Then there was the accident that happened that took my life. The police wrote down the cause of death as blood loss, but it was more like death by loneliness. My parents weren't very sad about my death though. I guess they just sometimes forget that they have a son. Nature took its course and I ended up as a Hollow in Hueco Mundo. I was kinda confused at first, and asked some passing Hollow where I was. Just as I approached the guy, he suddenly collapsed and disintegrated. This happened for some time until I found out why it kept happening. My reiatsu was strong. So strong that any low-spirited Hollow will collapse within a mile radius. And so, I walked around by myself.

Lonely.

It was really quiet around Hueco Mundo. Well, what can you expect? There's no one around. One day I decided to sit down on the endless sand for a while. Then suddenly, I felt like talking to myself. It was a weird conversation. And then I was arguing with myself. Then the arguing side of me felt angrier and suddenly my soul felt like it was splitting in two. Tadaa~ Lilynette was born. She is also me, but somehow an alternate personality? She was born/made out of my loneliness. But at least I wasn't lonely anymore, not with the quick-tempered brat.

A company.

We made a good pair, Lilynette and I. We lived well. One day, a person came and was surprised to see the mountain of Hollows that died on their own, just because they were close to us. He looked strong. He didn't stumble even when he came close to us. He said he was looking for comrades. I asked him whether his comrades were strong. He told me to find out myself. I took the bait, because I had nothing to lose. And if this man was serious, then I'll have comrades too. Some people said the man was evil, but to me, he was my hope.

Hope for this loneliness.

I was introduced to the Espada. Apparently they were the strongest in Aizen's army. I'll admit it, they didn't look that strong but I could feel it. Their reiatsu. Strong and unwavering. And so, I climbed my way through the ranks, and ended up being Primera. Some people weren't happy about that *cough*Barragan*cough*. But my days were filled with random chaos and weird situations usually involving Gin. That fox-face. I didn't realize it, but this was what it felt like. To have people around you, a company, comrades. I wouldn't go so far as calling us friends, cos some of us hate each other's gut. But still, here I am, surrounded by strong comrades, working together albeit reluctantly.

I am not alone. Not anymore.

End.


Notes :

• When a person dies, he will turn into a soul and when any Shinigami (death god) cleanse them they will go to Soul Society, the good place where everyone usually goes after death. But then some unfortunate souls will turn into Hollows, and will go to Hueco Mundo, the bad place full of grey sand where it's eat or be eaten.
• Reiatsu - something like an aura , or spirit particle. Really strong reiatsu can kill anyone who is weak.
• Primera - First in Spanish.
• Nakama means comrades in Japanese.

Fly By

My mastermind has calculated. After we finished the Putrajaya event, I have 6 days to enjoy myself before school starts. And in those 6 days, my goal was to Level Up my Maple Character to at least level 100. I think I was around 78+ level before I went to Putrajaya.

And so today...

My Luminous MissTilla is at Level 90. HOORAYY!

And so today...

I only have 2 days left before school starts.

WHERE DID MY 4 DAYS WENT?? THEY FLEW BY SO QUICKLY!

Getting to Level 100 in two days is easy, you can even do it in one day (with good internet connections, that  is) but the problem is...

School is starting.

I don't even know where I stopped learning. I don't know where all my school stuffs are. I have like, two freaking kerja kursus to be done too. Accounts and ADDMATHS okay.

So, what am I doing writing this blog for?







Time to reach Level 100~!

*going to regret this*

One Moment In Time

Sooo.... I'm back from Beijing. Actually I've been back for like, a month already? Hehe. I'm actually back from Putrajaya. Yes, we had another event. Some Pandu Puteri Carnival. Anyway, that's not what I wanna talk about today.

I wanna talk about the trip back home. We, the form fives, are all in the same bus. After a stop at Alor Semanggol (?), I don't know who started it, but we started singing. Any song that came to mind, we sang it. Of course, I only knew like, less than half of the songs they were singing, jiwang2. Tapi jiwang2 ni pun kadang2 best gak. Lagi2 bila semua orang dok feeling pulak kan.

It started with the people in the back row, and then people from the front row started going to the back row. Pastu ada orang feeling, sedih. Huhu... Pastu sambung lagi menyanyi. Haha...

I swear, all the songs on the radio were sung by us. Sahabat ka kekasih ka, kisah. Bantai semua~

Let me quote from "Perks of Being A Wallflower".

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite"

Everyone was singing, no one was fighting, we were just enjoying ourselves to the max. Wawa then said she hoped we never reach our destination. Everyone got silent for a while, the everyone thought about ghostly-things. Then everyone was like "NO WAY"

But I understood what Wawa meant. She hoped that moment, where we were all happy, never ended. Thinking back I kinda feel like crying, hehe. To me, that was the highlight of the trip. At that time, I really felt that we were one. Man, I love you guys. I'm actually teary-eyed right now, hehe.

So, that was one of the best moments in my 5-years being in band. I don't think I'll ever forget it.

~Kan ku jadikan kau kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku~

Sincerest Appreciation

I can't believe we're going tomorrow. A lot of stuffs happened, like MSSM and the packing today. So, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of the people who helped us during this hard times.

Many thanks to..

Alhamdulillah, thank God. 

My parents
For always understanding and supporting me all the way. Without your support I'm nothing. Especially for helping your "other" childrens too.

Everyone else's parents
For helping us when we rehearsed for like 3 times at the stadium. For helping us load and unload the lorry. For helping us push the instruments. For bringing us food and drinks. For waiting for us when we rehearsed till late at night. And for supporting us all the way.

2013 Exes
For willing to come and help us complete Africa. For willing to sacrifice your free time and your part time jobs. For willing to sweat through the heat. For helping us get through it all.

Other exes
For coming to support us all the time. For helping us push our instruments. For even offering to give us a lift home late at night.

Sirs
For teaching us. For being patient with us.

Teachers
For managing our band. For taking care of us. For sacrificing your time with family. For keeping up with our demands.

Supporters
For never failing to come to any events that we have. For always cheering whenever we perform no matter how many times you've seen it.

Band members
You guys are the people that make this, the band, happen. Without you guys, there wouldn't be any band. You guys rock. All your sweat, tears, and maybe blood too, will be worth  it. Thank you for never giving up on band. Thank you for doing your best everytime. Thank you for willing to give it your all everytime without fail.

All your sacrifices will not be in vain. Let us all enjoy this trip to Beijing!

Hardwork is the Road to Success.

Hi there. How are you? Fine I hope. Me? Ohoho….

I’M STRESSED OUT!

Lemme tell ya some’ing. I am currently 17 years old. I know, time to get my driving license. But that’s another story. In Malaysia, that means I am about to face the toughest and most important exam of my life.

SPM

The reason I’m stressed out is because the 2013 SPM results came out on 20.3.2014. So, of course all the teachers were talking about the results and how we’ve got to work hard to achieve even better results than last year. Cikgu Zainun was like :

“Cikgu ni constant. Student yang manipulated, so responding dia akan bergantung pada students .”

I know what she meant. It all depends on ourselves, whether  we work hard enough. So myself, what are you doing in order to face the exams? Me? Let’s see, I’ve got band practice everyday, that doesn’t change eventhough I’m a senior now. After band practice, surreee I do my homework… (in the morning  -_-“) On weekends? You mean Friday? That’s my rest day! I need to enjoy it! Though sometimes I enjoy it too much….

So, my conclusion (already?) is, you need to work hard for SPM. No one knows you better than yourself, whether you understand what the teachers are teaching, whether you need tuition or not, whether you can enjoy playing games everyday.

Now then….. I should do my homework.

*turns on laptop and watches Fairy Tail*

Sometimes I just wanna slap myself.

Five

Five.

It's just a number. But then somehow, I feel connected to it in many ways. Like how Malique in Kembara Amira feels connected to the hutan apa entah. Sorry, haven't read it till the end yet, hehe.

Five.

I am, most importantly, the fifth and the last child in my family.

Five.

I am currently Form 5.

Five.

My house number is 135. Wait, is that relevant?

Five.

Alhamdulillah, I have 5 perfect fingers on each hand. And feet.

Five.

There was one time when my code was J25. Is this also relevant?

Five.

We are going to Beijing in May.

Five.

The reason I'm thinking about five is, Pitch Percussion. We have 5 Form 5's in Pit. Including me. I am glad to be part of this wonderful group of people. It feels like you gals are the only people who are truly truthful in friendship. Hehe, cheesy gilaa~

Seriously though, syiok dok ngan hampa. Walaupun kita ni 5 personaliti yang berbeza-beza, kita boleh ngam. Yeah, I don't have the word to describe it. Kita ngam. Ngam.

Other people, they don't get us. Kita ni boleh menangis sat, and then tiba2 gelak. Orang wad gila la katakan. We love our section and we always get protective because we are different than other section.

Okay, that's it. I just wanna say, I love you guys, hehe :D

I knew that, until the end, you were shouting "thank you" from the bottom of your heart,
Farewell while smiling and holding back tears is so hard,
Such great memories.                                                                                         ~AnoHana : Secret Base